Oh, but this story is making my spanking hand itch something awful.

How about this: two Swedish schoolgirls bought bugging equipment in a gadget shop and installed it in the teachers’ common room.

Seriously. They did. They got caught when one of them bragged about it on Facebook, thus failing Spying 101 in a rather spectacular manner. The real-life result of this was a court case, a guilty verdict and a hefty fine.

I picture a different outcome. There would be an after-school staff meeting which the pair of girls would be ordered to attend. A chair would be placed in the middle of the room, and the girls would have to bend over its back one after the other, skirts up and knickers lowered to their ankles. The Headmaster would administer a full dozen of cane strokes to each upturned bottom, with the whole teaching staff looking on.

Afterwards, the minutes of the staff meeting, including the two canings, would be posted on the school’s Facebook page, with links to the girls’ profiles.

That’s only fair, no?