A new episode of our spanking podcast, in which I talk about the best ways to actually get to play at a spanking party.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
A new episode of our spanking podcast, in which I talk about the best ways to actually get to play at a spanking party.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
I’ve never been for the subtle approach at parties. Even at my first party back in ’99, if I saw an somebody using an implement I wanted to experience, I asked if they wanted to spank me. The great thing about parties is that there are so many willing people to spank or be spanked. I got sooo spanked at that party.
Ooops, that’s what I get for editing while still writing, and not getting rid of all the unwanted stuff! That shouldn’t say an somebody. LOL
“Downstairs everybody was chatting… and drinking.”
Oh yes, I remember that bit… How many empty champagne bottles were there on Sunday morning? And I don’t even drink!! (I blame Abel.)
In the past few days as I have been remembering my first foray into the wider scene community last weekend, it has struck me as fascinating that whilst I was very much looking forward to meeting people, it honestly never crossed my mind that play would be an option. Of course I was aware of the house rule about playing upstairs – but for me, just *being* there was a big enough first step… actually playing completely escaped my thoughts in the days and hours preceding Saturday.
Now of course, once I had relaxed a little and found my confidence, naturally I was up for a bit of play… and before long I found myself in the hallway upstairs behind EJ and two other naughty miscreants, being berated by some very mean toppy-types, awaiting our fate for whatever crime we had committed. Quite how I got there, though, is a bit blurry – I remember EJ calling me upstairs and by the time I got there, the scene was set. Of course it was my first ever group scene, and whilst not terribly ‘deep’, it was still great fun! But the most overwhelming thing I remember about the duration of it was that I must have been *so* naive not to even wonder about whether or not I’d play that day. As I said, just being there was enough excitement for one day.
The other thing that I have been reflecting on since then also came as a genuine surprise, but one which I am taking as a compliment. Throughout the afternoon I had a few other quick scenes with the only two tops with whom I have previously played – and although these were the first spontaneous scenes we had done together, the trust and understanding of limits from previous encounters was already in place. Mid-afternoon, though, I was asked whether I would like to play by a lovely new person, but one whom I had only met about an hour before. I’m sure he’ll understand if he’s reading this, but again I was caught so off guard that I decided the best thing to do was wait a little and have a think about the proposal. Actually, now I regret that by the time I had decided to say yes, if the offer was still open, my lift was wanting to make a move. But, it has boosted my confidence, and I am really happy to know that among this circle at least, simply asking someone if they’d like to play is an accepted form of communication that will not be taken offensively if the answer is either ‘no’, or just ‘perhaps later’. And if he is indeed reading this, now you know for future reference, lol!
This comment has (again) turned out far longer than I intended – sorry – but, it goes to show that the topic of your SpankingCast is indeed a pertinent one, and definitely one that has been on my own mind since the party. For which I want to thank you (both) again and again and again.
xx
Toby has the right idea. I find that hanging around with the likes of EJ gets me spanked, too. 😉
Actually, even if it didn’t, it would still make for a great party. And that’s the key: hanging out with people you’d like even if you weren’t into spanking.
It’s fun having the computer linked into the house sound system. One minute it’s a review of the arts from the BBC which leads with seamless continuity into Haron’s art – how to play at parties ; and sadly, silly trains caused me to miss Haron and Abel’s – sorry!
The answer is terribly simple – if you don’t know someone but like their general demeanor, just like at a dance, start socializing with them. If there’s something they are wearing you like, say so. Put them at the center of your attention – get them to talk about themselves generally, their interests, preferences, dislikes, common experiences, etc. “What’s your favorite scene?” Are they starting to ask you questions? Then move on to implements, levels, marking, limits. That way you’ll either put both of you at ease or realize it’s not going to click that day. Come prepared, perhaps with a few games which make it fun, amusing and easy going. As I see spanking as natural extension of that getting to know someone, I’ll say for example “have you ever been whipped, would you like to try?” I’ll say I’m into this because I like to see someone struggling with positive pain I’m causing. In Zille’s blog, Ameila Jane Rutherford just said something about that in connections with intensity in flimed scenes, “So as long as the punishment looks as though its hurting and having a psychological effect, I’m engaged”. It’s all down to communication and maybe you’ll play. I don’t think Haron will mind me mentioning that when we first met several years ago, we could have played right then, but didn’t, because I really wanted to get to know her as a person first. So parties can also be an opportunity to maybe take things further at a later date. Just don’t sit around!
R
“Just ask for it” seems like the logical solution, but I don’t think it’s easy to just walk up to someone and say: “Hi, I’m Olivia, do you want to spank me? :)” …it seems to me that it’s better to just chat and if it turns out you like the person/people you’re talking to, the subject of spanking will come up more easily. I think I would feel more at ease if I knew the top a little better. I wouldn’t want to be spanked by a total stranger.
Anyway, the stories of the party do make me smile
glad to hear that it was fun!