A spanking handbook

We don’t normally review products here on The Spanking Writers: we’re not a commercial site, so although we’re happy to endorse the things we buy and like in our kink lives, we’re wary of turning ourselves into some form of marketplace. However, once in a while, we’re asked very nicely to look at something that might be of real interest to our readers, so are happy to oblige! And a charming note a few weeks back from Gemma Forbes seemed to fit that bill.

I’ve just finished reading her book “The Adult Spanking and Discipline Handbook”, and rather like it. The introduction sets out the book’s premise:

Common, ill-informed myth dictates that anyone who even considers exploring non-mainstream erotic pursuits is some kind of deviant weirdo. However, over the years, I have met enough extraordinary and upstanding participants of these games we shall be investigating here to know that that is as far from the truth as it can be…

As long as your intentions are to solely and exclusively participate with mutually consenting adult partners, and you never perpetrate any true or vengeful harm, spanking and discipline play is just another form of recreation and exploration…

Fortunately, we now live in a time when the subject of spanking no longer sends civilized people into spasms of horrified shock. While there are still those who would condemn a safe, sane and consensual thrashing as “sinful” or “wrong”, those same people would probably censure many other commonly practiced ideas and pursuits. They are the book-burners and blindly orthodox. But they are not going to be the readers of this book…

So if you want to order this book on the Internet under an assumed name and hide in the darkest corner of your basement whenever you dare read it, go ahead. But you’ll find that, as far as therapeutic experts are concerned, you are going to a lot of unnecessary extra bother. The things you fantasize over are not heinous crimes against society. They’re just another example of the endless creativity of the human psyche. Whether it’s spanking or any number of other potentially titillating fantasies you have, you can be sure that the guy in the suit and tie next to you on the  commuter train or the well-dressed woman standing behind you in the line at Starbucks have had reveries just as colorful and blush-inducing as your own…

So if you’re a fervent spanko, chances are you’ll always be a fervent spanko. And maybe, just maybe, there’s no need to be embarrassed about it. That doesn’t mean that certain occasions aren’t more appropriate than others to indulge in an open display of enthusiasm for the subject. Maybe for you it’s best to only reveal it to those you know to be likeminded. That kind of choice is yours, and yours alone. But if you bury it as a deep, dark, shameful little secret you could be hurting yourself (and I don’t mean in the fun way we’re going to be exploring here).

And that, for me, is where this book really adds value – to give confidence to those considering exploring their interests in spanking for the first time, or for those relatively new to the scene needing sage advice on how to explore their kink safely. Throughout – as I read it on a transatlantic flight (!) – I found myself nodding in vehement agreement at the author’s wise words, and wishing I’d had copies to give to various “newbies” over the years.

If you’re a more experienced player, you may still find numerous snippets of thought-provoking information and interesting ideas. More importantly, I think you’ll enjoy reading the perspectives of someone who “gets it”, recognising and re-enforcing your own thoughts on what works in scene life. It’s great to have a book like this that we can relate to so readily.

I have one – minor – reservation. The final sections talk about work as Pro Domme, and I’m not entirely convinced that these sit entirely comfortably within a book that focuses more on relatively basic (yet comprehensive) advice for less experienced players. But Gemma’s perspectives, drawn from her own personal experience, are never less than interesting: perhaps I’d rather this had been expanded into a separate volume, with more for those who want to offer to receive spankings professionally as well as those who want to be disciplinarians.

All in all – a recommended read, and one that many (whether considering dabbling in the scene, or more experienced) may find useful, interesting, enjoyable and supportive. You can get hold of printed / Kindle copies from Amazon or other online stores – and, one might dare to hope, even on the tables of some more enlightened local bookstores!