Abel's spanking blog & stories
A few months back, I decided to become more open with vanilla friends and colleagues about the poly side of my life (bizarrely, shortly before various relationship changes which meant that perhaps I’d have been better off keeping quiet!). The conversations provoked a degree of curiosity, a fair few questions – and a remarkable amount of understanding and support. “So, you can be in love with more than one person – and everyone’s happy with it?” seems actually, strangely, to be something that even the most straight-laced types can get their minds around.
But what about spanking? I make no secret of the fact that I write ‘for adults’: ‘erotica’, even. Some folks even know it’s about ‘fetish’. But more than that I won’t say – I won’t mention corporal punishment specifically, and most certainly won’t discuss real-life spanking play. (I’ve actually only done that with one vanilla friend, ever. Although this isn’t her kink, she may even be reading this right now).
It’s not as if being “outed” as a spanko would imperil my vanilla existence: I don’t work in a sensitive job, for example. Yet I suspect any discussion would provoke shock and outrage: “So, you beat women, then?” What I do as a top is so beyond socially acceptable vanilla norms, that I doubt they’d listen along sympathetically as far as the obvious response (“Only if they want me to!”).
How do others handle this? And is it the case that it’s easier for someone who’s a bottom to “out” themselves than a top: is “I’m into pain” less of a shock to the vanilla system and more socially acceptable than “I’m into hurting others”? I’m not sure it is – but I’m curious to know what others think.