Misreadings

You know how my mind works, and this week’s Time Out was therefore a delight. It started by listing quirky London laws:

Under the Town Police Clauses Act 1847, it is still an offence to beat or shake any carpet, rug or mat in any street in the Metropolitan Police district…

…although beating one’s young lady for misbehaviour is presumably encouraged, since it’s not proscribed on the list.

Later, in a feature on “The 101 best things in London”:

London Kayak Tours got namechecks for its paddling expeditions along the Thames, some of which include a glass of bubbly…

…to reassure a sore girl after her long, public punishment that she’s cared for and loved, one imagines.

Then, under ‘Walks’, there’s:

Prisons and Punishment in the Old City. A City of London Guide leads this walk visiting the sites of seven former prisons…

…and those on the tour are presumably invited to dole out the punishment?

And finally, I moved to a wonderfully original little guide, picked up in Foyles, to “The best specialist suppliers in London”, including:

Leather

Much loved by costume designers, handbag makers and fetishists with a crafty bent, this is more trade counter than shop, but one with a very distinctive atmosphere. The smell of leather stops just short of over-powering, shelves are piled high with tanned hides in huge sheets…

Tanned hides indeed. J T Batchelor, of Culford Mews, if you’re wondering.