So, the major event of 2012 is almost upon us. Ladies and gentlemen, I present: The SpankOlympics.
I thought readers might enjoy a sneak preview of the running order for my little party. I’ll let you know how the ceremonies go after the event:
Opening ceremony – Lighting of the SpankOlympic flame, in which a cane will be ceremonially set alight by a naked virgin. (Some imagination may be required on the virginity front!)
Warm ups – Those competing will be taken upstairs, so that appropriate warm-ups can be provided.
Event 1 – Sprinting. Administration of 100 spanks in the shortest time.
Event 2 – Shooting. The ultimate test of accuracy: six strokes of the school cane, with the judges measuring the distance between them. Closest together wins!
Event 3 – Synchronised spanking. In which couples compete for one minute to perform the most ‘artistic’ spanking-related routine. Medals awarded to the most entertaining duo.
Event 4 – Relay. Competitors dash from one top to another, receiving two strokes with each of four implements Fastest to complete the course wins.
Closing ceremony – presentation of medals to the winners; gratuitous beatings to the losers.
Abel, you missed at least one event. the important Marathon, when naughty females, are birched, or caned, along a 26 plus mile route, by the onlooking and enthusiastic spectators. The gold, silver, or bronze medals, should be awarded to the brightest and reddest naked rear ends, by the Katherine the Dutchess of Cambridge, Pippa, and Camilla the Dutchess of Cornwall. These three ‘royal rumps’, I’ve just mentioned, also need to run the gaunlet.
LOL – shall send invitations to their Royal Highnesses immediately, but fear it may be a little short notice for them to attend – and that some of the participants may rather object to the distance!
Sir Abel, since you were knighted by the Queen, at last year’s honours. The knighthood being ‘The Order of the Royal Rod. (cane). You have every right to demand their attendence at the ‘SpankOlympics’. And if they are not forthcoming, immediatly. And if they are not forthcoming. Lock them up in the Tower of London. Where all three will have their knicker’s taken down, and receive ‘Six of the Best’, the very best strokes.
O.M.G. LOL! I’d love to watch this. Here I thought I was hardened, but my hat’s off to the bottoms involved!
LOL! Sounds brilliant! Hope you all have a fab time
xx
If this is to be a real Olympics, then presumably there will be penalties for anyone testing positive (cigarettes, alcohol etc).
As for false starts (e.g. flinching before impact of cane), I guess that the punishment has to be re-started from the beginning – for all competitors in that event.