There’s something of a theme in this year’s BOTKR of posts that discuss the pressures of being kinky in a largely vanilla world. Next up is a piece that’s actually from a newspaper, and professionally written, rather than from an amateur blog – but it’s so powerful and supportive that I think it’s worth breaking with a self-imposed tradition. It’s by psychologist Pamela Stephenson Connolly, and discusses the “Fifty Shades of Grey” phenomenon:
Most annoyingly, the story demonises BDSM… and those who enjoy it. The male protagonist, Christian Grey, is portrayed as a cold-hearted sexual predator with a dungeon… full of scary sex toys. Worst of all is the implication that his particular erotic style has developed because he is psychologically “sick”…
Ten years ago, I carried out an extensive psychological study of people in the BDSM community – the largest empirical study ever done at the time – to examine their psychological attributes and determine if there was any justification for the notion, commonly held, even within my field, that they were all psychologically disturbed… I found that, in fact, the group was generally not mentally unhealthy, and the instances of early abuse that had long been associated with the adult practice of BDSM were present in just a few…
All the work that has been done to establish that BDSM is not a pathological symptom, but one of a wide range of normative human erotic interests, is in danger of being undermined by the success of Fifty Shades. Let’s hope we do not return to the days when people were discriminated against – losing children, property, jobs – for their interest in BDSM. Remember, Fifty Shades is just another bodice-ripper. With cable ties.
Yay!! Well done Mrs. Connolly. Let’s hope this gets picked up by other media.