Best of the kinky rest – 10: “Why I can’t ask you”

The penultimate selection in my annual round-up: a fascinating, touching post that appeared relatively recently at Red Kink Diaries. A frank and insightful perspective: well worth a read:

You probably wonder why I can’t ask you for the things that I need….

I know you’re not a dominant person outside of the bedroom. I know that, and I love you for you. I don’t want you to be anything other than who you are…

I can’t ask you. I can’t ask you because it would mean that I’m in control. I can’t ask you because when you do what I need you to do, it will feel coerced… It’s not just about sex, or whips or chains or restraints. It’s not always about lengthy playtimes or elaborate punishments, although they’re always fun. Sometimes it’s just about noticing when I feel as though my boundaries are blurring, when I feel as though I am going to spill out everywhere and make a mess all over our relationship, and snapping me back into line. That might be by pulling me over your knee for an impromptu spanking, or making me sit on the floor by your feet, or by violently fucking my throat…. It might even just mean telling me ‘no’, once in a while.

I need you to be strong for me. Not domineering or bullying. Just firm and fair. Sometimes it might be necessary to physically overpower me. Sometimes, finer methods of control will be more appropriate. That’s down to you to judge…

I meant what I said the other night, that I wasn’t going to hold back when I test you any more. I’ve been scared to truly test your authority because I feel as though I would win, and winning that particular battle would utterly crush me. I don’t want to win.

I might not always like it, I might argue and fight and throw tantrums sometimes, but know that I need your authority more than anything else.

Above all else, know that I love you.