The Pervert With the Bag
Posted by Abel on 22 Apr 2007 at 09:17 am | Tagged as: Perverting Reality
Amusing conversation the other morning, as I staggered into the office carrying a large, long bag.
Woman at the next desk: “How long are you away for?”
Me: “Two nights.”
WATND: “Wow. That bag makes it look like you’re on the road for a week…”
Me: “I know. But the bag I usually use for quick trips is too short for my cane.”
Actually, I didn’t say that: one of those moments where the truth might be just a tad inappropriate! And I’d have had to explain away the XH tawse and the well-worn plimsoll as well…
It all reminded me of a recent news report about British Airways’ new excess baggage charges: you can only take one bag without paying a surcharge, but are also allowed to check in a free golf bag. The journalist commented:
“Of course, they don’t say whether it has to contain golf clubs,”
Frankly, none of our friends who check in golf bags on a regular basis would ever use them for anything so mundane as golfing equipment. I wonder if the airline’s employee who designed such a kink-friendly baggage policy is a fellow spanko?
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There really does seem to be a gap in the market for kink-friendly hotels I think, to avoid such excess baggage. I read a story once set at a kink-friendly hotel where you sent the girl down to select various implements from the store room behind reception, and the rooms all had the necessary furniture - a sturdy straight-backed chair, and the correct height couch etc. Even the staff, when delivering room service asked appropriate questions such as “I hope you taught her a lesson, Sir. Judging by the state of her bottom, I think you got through to her. But I’d be happy to go down and get a thicker cane if you wish.” (Well, I might have made the last bit up.)
Rob: yeah, but I think I’d be a little (no, a *lot) squicked by the idea of a cane that had been used by and on strangers being used on me.
That said, definitely in favor of kink-friendly hotels. The most friendly one I’ve ever been at was the now imploded Stardust in Vegas. The staff seemed to really enjoy the SL parties. As I came back to our room from having played in someone elses room the maid was in doing housekeeping. She welcomed me back with a “come in child and sit… if you like.”
Mija: LOL I guess my hotel was in my head. Imagine being sent down to retrieve a cane, being told you’d got the junior version and being sent back for the senior one, and the embarrassment associated with that, or being in the corner when the dinner arrived and the waiter making a comment!!! A huge turn on as a ‘thought’ but in real life, I’d die a thousand deaths!!
In real life I imagine Abel has moments when standing at the X-ray at the airport he prays that they don’t ask to check his bag, and go through the “and what is this Sir” business. I had to laugh when he wrote that his bag was long to fit in his cane(s). To the uninitiated, they probably figure he is sporty. But of course, we know better!!
Another common use for golf bags that you probably haven’t considered is fencing equipment. It’s the best way to keep them from getting broken and it’s much cheaper than a bag built for fencing equipment!!!
However, it is more fun to imagine that the employee was kinky rather than a fencing enthusiast.
I’m glad we don’t fly much…
A thought: those cricket bags would be the perfect travelling bag for kinky people - plenty of room for canes. Of course I don’t expect Abel to be touring at all, being in the veteran league as he is. (But as Wanda would agree, still playing sport at all when you are “old” is commendable.)
it IS commendable… you have to stay limber.
ROB…………………………………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope your other half sees that comment and deals with it.
(Calms down after reading Rob’s comment!)
Interesting set of thoughts, folks. I’m working down the road from Lillywhite’s, the sports store, today.
I feel a bout of truancy coming on to allow an early-evening browse of the sports bag section, before I head over to Coffee, Cake and Kink
He’s away, so you’re out of luck! BTW which comment are you referring to? The veteran thing? I asked him before he left and that’s what it is called he said. We have ‘veteran rowers’ here, for example, Dads who were once in the firsts and can’t let go.
What a tease you are - coffee, cake and kink - sounds delicious!!!!
How did the bag browsing go Abel? I’ve never thought of a cricket bag before, seems a good idea to me, although maybe because I’m even more veteran than you are people would see me with a sport bag and instantly know it was full of spanking equipment rather than the real thing!
Well I don’t know about people generally Sarah but the next time I am carrying one of the kids’ sportsbags as an overnight bag I will be thinking about that.
PS So pleased to see that it was you commenting. I thought it might be Abel deciding that enough was enough and giving me the rounds of the kitchen!!
The rounds of the kitchen?
A lovely phrase! I can only guess at what it means, my guess involves a naughty young lady and a wooden spoon… am I close?
Sarah: This is funny. I just typed and sent and then thought, they won’t know what I mean. I went looking for the definition but can’t find one. My understanding is that it dates back to when there was traditionally a table in the middle of the kitchen and one was chased around it with, probably, a wooden spoon. I also tend to equate it with someone giving the other a good talking to at the same time.
sounds fun… I want to play!
Talking to a soccerhead Dad this morning - asked him if he still played. “Yes I play veteran soccer.”
“So you don’t mind it being called that?” I asked.
“Well the other guys wanted to call it ‘Masters Soccer’ but what am I a Master of?”, he replied.
Clearly not one of us, I thought.
I *love* that anecdote, Rob