The hotel we’ve been staying in this weekend has a well-signposted ‘Ice Room’ on each floor. How very considerate, I thought, of them to help with their guests’ disciplinary needs, picturing naked girls being led through the corridors and locked in said room. There, they’d shiver and contemplate, until they were retrieved and led back to their bedroom for their thrashing.

I was most disappointed to find that, rather than a mini-igloo for miscreant daughters, wives, girlfriends and colleagues, the room merely contained an ice machine. Then again, I thought, even that might be a source of some interesting fun…

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