Abel and I were both influenced in our kinkiness by Roald Dahl’s writing. “Galloping Foxley”, the short story from “Tales of the Unexpected”, was one of my earliest introductions to the world of British boarding schools and their savage rituals. I found this stuff horrifyingly compelling. When Abel and I first met, I was delighted to find out that he was also fond of this story - up until then it had been my secret pleasure; I’d met nobody else who had read it.
When we became aware of the existence of a Roald Dahl museum, we had to go, even if it was unlikely to be entirely dedicated to the part of his writing that interested us the most.

It’s a tiny place, and it isn’t at all kinky, if you don’t count a couple of pictures of larger-than-life canes on the walls. (Not that pictures of canes didn’t amuse us. It doesn’t take much to amuse us, really.)

However, Abel stumbled upon this piece of spanking writing, which (as far as I remember) Dahl sent in a letter to a group of school kids who’d written to him:

My teacher loved using the cane
He would thrash me again and again.
I’d be raised in the air
By the roots of my hair
While he shoued, “it’s good for the brain.”

I used to wear pants extra thick,
To lessen the sting from his stick.
When he saw what I’d done
He yelled “This is no fun!”
“Take them off altogether and quick.”

From your letters to me it would seem
That your teacher is clearly a dream.
There’s no whacks on the bum,
When you can’t do a sum,
Instead you get strawberries and cream

I thought this was worth the admission price. Not that the rest of the museum wasn’t interesting. I hadn’t expected to find a local amateur theatre acting out “Galloping Foxley” for me, but the museum wasn’t really geared for grown-ups.

Nice of them to give us a spanking poem, though.

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