People who know me, know that I have bad memories about my former maths teacher - to the degree that I still have occasional nightmares about being in his class. (Which, over ten years after graduation, means that my memories really are very traumatic.) I never say his name without automatically adding “hope he burns in hell”. I’ve always ranked him among the most monstrous creatures in my personal bestiary.

Anyway, I was talking to my mother on the phone, and she suggested that I may want to have a look at a Ukrainian news site. She warned me not to take a drink when I did, because I may splutter in indignation.

So I take a look. And what do I see?

My former teacher (now promoted to principal, grr) standing next to -  drum roll - George W. Bush. Who is visiting Kiev. And got taken on a tour of my old school.

What? TWO of my personal monsters next to each other in the same picture?

I did splutter, I confess. Traumatic school memories aside, I still don’t like the idea of my alma mater being contaminated by Dubya’s presence. I hope he got booed.

On the other hand, the even has made me reassess my scale of monsters. Obviously, my former teacher remains responsible for some of the more unpleasant days of my life, but on the grand scheme of things? Maybe he’s not that bad after all. Maybe just being excessively strict isn’t grounds for going to hell.

I even have a reason to be grateful to him, because he has provided inspiration for some of my best, darkest spanking writing.

Which is more than you could ever say about Baby Bush.

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