People who know me, know that I have bad memories about my former maths teacher – to the degree that I still have occasional nightmares about being in his class. (Which, over ten years after graduation, means that my memories really are very traumatic.) I never say his name without automatically adding “hope he burns in hell”. I’ve always ranked him among the most monstrous creatures in my personal bestiary.
Anyway, I was talking to my mother on the phone, and she suggested that I may want to have a look at a Ukrainian news site. She warned me not to take a drink when I did, because I may splutter in indignation.
So I take a look. And what do I see?
My former teacher (now promoted to principal, grr) standing next to – drum roll – George W. Bush. Who is visiting Kiev. And got taken on a tour of my old school.
What? TWO of my personal monsters next to each other in the same picture?
I did splutter, I confess. Traumatic school memories aside, I still don’t like the idea of my alma mater being contaminated by Dubya’s presence. I hope he got booed.
On the other hand, the even has made me reassess my scale of monsters. Obviously, my former teacher remains responsible for some of the more unpleasant days of my life, but on the grand scheme of things? Maybe he’s not that bad after all. Maybe just being excessively strict isn’t grounds for going to hell.
I even have a reason to be grateful to him, because he has provided inspiration for some of my best, darkest spanking writing.
Which is more than you could ever say about Baby Bush.
:: Still shuddering from the notion that W could provide inspiration for anything, much less spanking writing::
This visit could work out really well for you in the long run, Haron. W strikes up a conversation with your old teacher and becomes buddies. Then, with his unerring ability to put the wrong people in positions of power, he appoints Mr Nightmare to head a commission to improve math education in America. Mr Nightmare first causes an uproar on Fox News by suggesting that Americans will never be good at mathematics until we learn to abbreviate it in the plural. But then he really steps over the line– he declines to adjust the New MathS Curriculum to support the New Science of Intelligent Design. For this grave sin, it is decided that he “believes” in evolution and is therefore a Godless Communist who supports Osama Bin Laden. Under cover of darkness, Mr Nightmare is whisked away to Guantanamo Bay never to be heard from again.
There’s only one thing that could squick Haron more than the idea of a punishment spanking from her former maths teacher and W. combined…
..and that’s the idea of an erotic spanking from them…
Abel, who may just have given his wife even worse nightmares
You’ve just given me some nightmares too…and I only know one of the terrible double act!