I never can fathom the vagaries of airline security. Take your laptop out of your bag here; leave it encased there. Remove your shoes; pad barefoot through the grime. The only consistency is that they seem to think that humans have at least four hands, to hold all of the items which we’ve had to unpack or from which we’ve disrobed by the time we brave the scanners.
Our local airport seems particularly prone to making it up as they go along. As I headed out towards the States at the weekend, the young lady looked me up and down, and smiled ever-so-sweetly. Politely, she made her request: “Please remove your belt, sir.”
I suddenly realised that I’d found many a girl’s ideal job: eyeing up the toppish looking men, and getting that certain frisson as she watched them whip out their their belts.
I folded mine neatly, doubling it over carefully before placing it on top of the tray before her. I smiled. She smiled back. I wondered…
I bet she wondered too….
Maybe she just thought you were a bit strange, cos you were folding your belt neatly instead of just dropping it in the tray like a normal person?
Awww, Smudge said Abel’s not normal!!!!!!
I can’t help wondering if the shoe fetishists like this job, too…
I hate airport security, I swear they’re like accsessory Nazis. And there’s always a smug man who thinks its super funny that your bra underwire sets the thingy off.
Harriet – I did not! I said the girl at security might have thought so. She’d be wrong, of course.
Evie – I hate them, too. A few weeks ago, they put my boots through their stupid scanner and it leaked black oil all over them. They paid for new ones and everything, but I still had to wear them for a whole twelve hours all covered in oil. Gross.
Wow, Smudge, I would have been seirously tramatised by that, my shoes are quite literally like children to me, I love as much as I love handbags… and sunglasses and belts, and tops, and dresses and make-up. Oh dear, I need to go buy things now.
Evie: Well I went looking for a giggle and I found one. “My shoes are quite literally like children to me…” Priceless!