Last night was the final night when it was allowed to drink on the London Underground. According to the BBC, a great mob showed up at Liverpool Street Station yesterday to party to the last day of drinking away – a big enough crowd that they had to shut the station.
Oh, dear. What a pair of the partying girls didn’t realise was that their father would watch the news, just as the event was being reported, and would spot two familiar laughing faces, two heads of curly blonde hair, the hands clutched around bottles of beer.
When they returned home – on the bus, because they’d stopped the Tube, how cool! – he would be waiting for them in the hallway, hands folded on his chest. And as soon as they saw his face, their giggly smiles would melt away – they would know that he knew.
He wouldn’t spank his girls just then: who knew how much beer they’d drunk. He would want them sober, alert and contrite. He would dispatch them to their bedrooms at once, and inform them they were grounded for the whole of the following week. And that he would deal with them in the morning.
In fact, he might be punishing them right now: one girl in the corner of the living room with her hands on her head, the other – over daddy’s lap, kicking and squealing as the smooth-backed hairbrush descends.
I shall never walk through Liverpool Street station again without this in mind 😉
Thank you for perverting a London landmark for me, my love.
BTW Mayor Boris is so mad that he’ll probably introduce the right for Underground staff to administer on-the-spot spankings themselves before very long.
Ooohh, I’ll have to move to London then!
Please, please, please, can we make a petition for Underground spankings? *Please*?
OK, who’s going to write to Boris to suggest it?
After all, he’s an Old Etonian, so would probably approve of the idea!
Oh be honest Abel… your thoughts were already perverted… everywhere.
So this mob actually happened? Gotta give them credit for sending out the tradition in style…
How does one write to the mayor? I was meant to be going on the tube crawl but I’m too ill
*Clears throat* ‘Dear Mr Mayor. You have a funky haircut. Please will you introduce spanking on the Underground, for naughty girls like Evie who get drunk in public. Lots of love, your faithful subjects xxx’
Like that, Evie. And you address it to ‘Mr Mayor’s House, London’. See?
Of course! You’re very wise Smudge. How silly of me. However, I do rather enjoy interesting hair, it’s like an overgrown public school boy’s. Which may be because he is infact an overgrown public school boy. When I’m Queen there will definataly be spanking on the underground. Having re-read that comment I have come to the conclusion that I may be still drunk from last night, despite being ill.
Aww, poor Evie is ill
Hope you feel better soon.
Thank you my lovely, I think I’ve got some kind of exam related disease. Or skurvy.
Get well soon, Evie
Evie, if it’s scurvy, better add some lime juice to your gin and tonics. Or rum. Worked for the Royal Navy, after all. I’m sure you can find a reader here to tend to the floggings if you want to be authentic about your Navy experience. 😉
Seriously, hope you get better quickly.
I was there! Well, not in the mob. Watching from a discreet distance along the station platform with increasing disbelief at how crazy it was getting, before we decided to avoid the Circle Line entirely and drink our martinis and kir royales on the Jubilee Line, in peace. We had cocktail dresses and champagne flutes and my friend played the violin and everything. Allow us to show you how it’s done 😉
So Pandora is offering herself up to be flogged on behalf of all of the miscreants, then? Name your time and place, my dear
What is Pandora being flogged for? Elegance and style?
Yes
Wow – you guys send my thoughts into the oddest directions. Now I’m picturing everyone much more stylishly dressed except that the men would not be wearing the coats to their tuxedoes so that the tails wouldn’t interfere with the action.