Sitting in the bar at Palm Springs airport at the weekend, killing time before my much-delayed flight, watching the highly-entertaining Women’s College World Series baseball. (That’d be “World” as in “US”, of course. And I confess to having been rather more interested in the Women’s College part of the equation that the baseball).
An ad appeared on the TV: a middle-aged man, wandering from car to car in some lovers’ lane, peering through the steamed-up windows like some peeping tom. His family, we were told, had chosen the wrong cellphone network. His teenage daughter’s SMS telling him that she was staying the night at Stacey’s house hadn’t made it through because of poor phone reception.
“Come Monday,” the advertiser explained, “you’re going to be the girl with the crazy father who no-one wants to date.”
Now, why anyone would want to date her father was quite beyond me – although the fact that he’d have been fine with his daughter staying over to shag her girlfriend all night long, provided she’d sent him a text, made him sound remarkably tolerant. (Err, I’m not sure that’s quite what they meant, mind).
But, of course, my mind had completed the sentence in an entirely different way, well before the voiceover finished:
“Come Monday you’re going to be the girl with the very sore backside.”
(“But daddy, I swear, I did send you a message…”)
I was quite disappointed, to be honest.
I hope the crazy father enjoyed himself peering into all those cars.
LOL – that ad agency needs a good proofreader.
Hugs,
Hermione
I expect it was softball, not baseball, Abel. You can tell because the uniforms are much baggier and probably interfered with your enjoyment of the game. Not that they usually film the players from behind, anyway– for that, you need to go to the game. The cheap seats are best, in case you’re tempted.
*laughs* I think it pry was softball. I’ve seen that ad…they’re saying that no one will want to date the girl because the dad is crazy, not that she’d want to date her dad. I like your ending better, no matter!
Isn’t the “World Series” to do with it having been sponsored by a newspaper called the Chicago World (or something similar), and not, as we British all assume, something to do with only 10% of Americans having passports?
PS – This is my first post, although i’ve read you guys for ages – thanks so much for the amazing writing.
Hi, all
Hermione has me suspecting that the missing text message was merely a ruse for the pervy old bloke to use to spy on the couples in the cars.
Indiana – what on earth is softball? Baseball for wimps who can’t face catching the harder ball? (A bit like kids playing cricket with a tennis ball, maybe?!)
Fiona – I’m fascinated by that explanation for the origins of the phrase “World Series”. I’m fascinated now to know whether that’s really the case! And welcome to the blog, and thanks for the kind comments, and here’s hoping we hear lots more from you
Abel, half-asleep at Heathrow after a long flight, jetlagged, tired…
Abel,
I found a picture of a baseball next to a softball, along with all sorts of other balls (hurling, golf) at the following site: http://www.uscamanachd.org/equipment/
Trust me, softballs are NOT soft. I took one in the thigh once and ended up with an enormous bruise that took over a month to fade. The marks from the stitch of the ball were pretty cool, though. There are all sorts of minor differences in the rules between baseball and sofball, but the main one is the pitcher has to use an underhanded motion to deliver the ball. Looks a bit like the windmill motion of a bowler in cricket, only with the arm going the opposite direction. In general, women and recreational leagues play softball; boys and pros play baseball.
Too bad you couldn’t extend your stay in the US a little longer– the Florida Moonshine party starts in two days…
Indy
Fiona,
I was so hoping that you were right, but apparently, the winners of the Championship of the United States in 1884 were dubbed the “Champions of the World” by a sporting magazine, and the claim to world domination stuck. Of course, this was at a time when we left other forms of world domination to the Brits, so it could be considered cute or at least innocuous back then.
The following link has all the names and references– looks accurate to me. The link at the bottom of this page debunks the New York World myth. http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~rickert/BB/wsname.html
Indiana
Who has a valid passport and could never be elected president of the United States