A friend and I were watching the TV in San Francisco earlier in the week, when they trailed the most bizarre news item under the strapline “Punished by Poetry”. We had to dive out for breakfast, so I had to turn to the Boston Globe online to fill in the details.
Robert Frost, the poet, spend more than 20 summers at Homer Noble Farm, in Ripton. It’s now owned by Middlebury College. Shortly after Christmas…
…a 17-year-old former Middlebury College employee who knew the farmhouse planned a party, giving $100 to a friend to buy beer. Word spread. Up to 50 people descended on the farm, the revelry turning destructive…
When it was over, windows, antique furniture, and china had been broken, fire extinguishers discharged, and carpeting soiled…The damage was set at $10,600.
Police charged 28 people, mainly with trespassing. The court decided that a jail term would be too harsh – and instead made them attend a series of classes about Frost’s poetry.
Shame the Farm didn’t have any nice apple trees. I mean, if they were looking for inspiration for innovative punishments, a good switching would have done the job just as well and far quicker.
ROTFL The only Frost poem I know is the one with “And miles to go before I sleep”, which we had to rattle off by heart in English lessons way back when. I wasn’t a huge fan, but it honestly didn’t seem all that bad.
The apple tree idea seems much more sound.
(Alternatively, bring on the Vogons *g*)
What’s a Vogon?
And surely chopping branches off trees is bad for the environment?! Poor little tree.
I thought of Vogons when I read this post…very appropriate!
Poetry, well written, can be a spiritually uplifting experience. Badly written, it can be an experience of buttock-clenching horror.The third worst poetry in the universe is written by Vogons, and frequently used as a form of torture.
From The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the galaxy – Douglas Adams
Forget poetry, they should all be forced to read Hardy’s “The Return of the Native.” Just thinking about that book makes me feel suisidally depressed… seriously, it actually offends me.
Ugh. Hardy. I wish he was banned.
They’re unlucky they didn’t throw a party at a porn tycoon’s house: that would be much better to sit through with a group of horny teenagers.
BB
Me too. When we rule the world shall we ban him?
Oooh, yes, let’s. Also, can we ban Abel and Haron’s laughing squid, that comes up every time I open this page? He scares me a bit. And he doesn’t laugh.
Laughing what? SQUID?? *raises eyebrows, looks around* Where? What in the…?
On the topic of switches… Does switching generally hurt more than caning? Or is it the other way around? Neither implement is within my experience…
:0 I don’t get a laughing squid. I don’t get a squid at all…. Is this some kind of squid discrimination? So when we rule the world we will have
-spankings on tubes
-No Hardy
-No laughing Squids. Or Squid in general.
Anything else?
World peace, I guess… Ooooh, and personal Abercrombie and Fitch models to follow us around all the time.
The squid doesn’t appear on my BlackBerry. Just my laptop. But he looks like a monster, not a squid. And he’s green. He doesn’t laugh, he just sits there and guards the blog. How come you don’t see him?!
😮 You have a blackberry and Abercrombie model fetish…. We’re like the same person!! Well isn’t this all very exciting! I’m not sure why I don’t see him… Maybe he just really doesn’t like me? Or maybe he just specically likes you?
If there were no squid, kiddies, there’d be no site, as the kindly squid hosts us in its tentacles.
It’s very friendly, I promise.
The evil spanko squid appears if you just type http://www.spankingwriters.com
It doesn’t if you go direct to:
http://www.spankingwriters.com/blog
What on earth do Vogons have to do with anything?
Oh, THAT squid.
Vogon poetry: “Listening to it is an experience similar to torture…”
An example from the movie:
“Groop, I implore thee, my footing turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly binglewurgles,
For otherwise, I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don’t!”
… at least it sounds like some kind of nice little threat at the end…
Frost? A punishment? I like Frost. Ok, perhaps not if I had to copy by hand an entire book of his poetry, but I like it to read!
In which case I <3 that squid and he should continue being squid-like forever and ever.
Rayne – re. your question “On the topic of switches… Does switching generally hurt more than caning? Or is it the other way around? Neither implement is within my experience…”
I like to think that I can take quite a good caning without screaming, jumping up, running away or turning round and punching the one doing the caning (and not only because I imagine the consequences could be painful in the long run) but I have to say that when I’ve been subjected to a good switching I come very close to doing all of the above, I have found it hurts, if not more, then certainly more intensily than a caning, although like anything being aimed at my backside I suppose it depends on the force of the stroke. I think it’s probably a lot easier to misjudge the force of the stroke with a switch, I mean to say, how much harm can a little stick do?!!! Ouch!
Thanks Sarah! =)
Sarah, Rayne – whilst making a girl touch her toes works for caning, I’d certainly have her holding onto something or tied down for a switching. Which tends to suggest that the latter might be more uncomfortable for her?