The Spanking Writers

Back in 1841, the good folks of London erected a fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square, designed for a statue of the late king, William IV. Problem was, they ran out of money, and the statue was never built.

For the past few years, the site has therefore hosted various works of modern art, selected in open competition. The most recent work to be selected is by the quite brilliant Anthony Gormley. His piece of ‘art’ is that for 100 days, the plinth will be occupied by members of the public for one hour each. According to Gormley:

‘Through elevation onto the plinth and removal from common ground, the subjective living body becomes both representation and representative, encouraging consideration of diversity, vulnerability and the individual in contemporary society’.

So here’s the plan. When they invite people to apply for their sixty minutes of fame, Haron and I will be proposing to share the plinth. I’ll be dressing in Headmaster’s gown and mortar board, carrying a traditional crook-handled cane. She’ll be in school uniform, and will spend the hour touching her toes. (Whether I’ll actually be able to thrash her non-stop for an hour, no doubt urged on by the baying crowd, presumably depends on the rules they impose and the presence – or otherwise – of the police!).

After all, kink is an example of ‘diversity’. A girl being punished must be showing ‘vulnerability’. And the proposal certainly classes as ‘individual’. Readers are encouraged to submit their own applications, along similar lines!