To celebrate my homecoming after the ridiculously long time apart, Abel took a day off.

It’s June, and we’re in London, so it would have been wrong not to go shopping in the sales - so we did. We rode a long escalator in Debenhams, with enormous red “50% OFF” signs flapping around us like flags.

We imagined a similar sign outside a Headmaster’s door at the end of the term. “50% off your punishment.” The Head would announce at assembly that he still had some offences from the previous term, where the culprits were unknown. He really wanted to deal with the events, and not allow them to drag on until the following term, and so he would offer an amnesty.

Any culprit who came to his office and admitted to any misdeeds before the end of term, would receive half the usual number of strokes.

If, however, she didn’t come forward, but was somehow discovered during the following term, she would receive the full punishment, plus an extra 50% for her cowardice.

I can imagine girls who’d committed relatively minor offences being quite torn. The chances of being discovered for something small weren’t great, particularly after a long time - but if they didn’t come forward, a relatively light punishment would suddenly expand by half.

I’m not actually sure what I’d do under the circumstances…

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