I’ve been keeping a little list for a while, sparked by a slightly tipsy conversation a little while back with our friend Martha in which we tried to devise the worst spanking story title imaginable.We rejected the gruesome, the simply tasteless. To be truly awful, the title had to be realistic – yet clichéd beyond belief, or simply fundamentally misguided.
Here are a few of suggestions:
“Paddling to her paddling”
“His rod of love”
‘The rotten rattan”
“Barely striped”
“I caned, she’s sore and conquered”
“The corporal’s punishment”
“Weal he, won’t he?”
Come on – do your worst: you must be able to add to the list…!
Wow, Abel, another list?! Blimey! Hehe.
They’re funny, though! Especially ‘I caned, she’s sore and conquered’. That’s so hilariously awful! I can’t think of any others right now, but I’ll try when it’s not so early in the morning.
‘Where there’s a weal, there’s a way’
‘Paddles at dawn’ (although, actually, i think i’ve read one with that title)
‘Different strokes for different folks’
‘The tanning salon’
‘Harry Potter and the torture chamber of secrets’ (sorry…)
‘Strapped for cash’
‘Crimson thigh’
‘Get me to the birch on time’
Ok, I really need to stop now…
I rather like “I caned, she’s sore and conquered”! It has a nice ring to it! 😉
“The cane the switch and the disrobe”
“Citizen cane” sorry.
“All quiet on the whipping front”
“Meet the floggers”
ooh no – ‘crimson hide’, that’s better
(or worse)
“The cane in Spain mainly causes pain”
“A cane on the hand is better than two on the bush”
“Strapping (the) young lad”
Of course, I love terrible titles like that … they make me giggle …!
Hm…
I can’t decide between “Canes Across the Hills” or “Canes Across the Dunes”
“Smacks Upon the Water, Cries Upon the Tide”
“Dawn’s Rosy Bottom”, maybe?
“The Sergeant’s Stripes” ?
And (with deepest apologies to Haron) one inspired by the series finale of one of our favorite programs.
“Who Canes Who”
Which of course leads to:
“Horton Smacks a Who”
And now I’m just getting silly so I’ll quit before it gets any worse.
Ms. Betty
I suck at this, I’m afraid. The worst I could come up with was “The director’s right hand” and I’m not sure that one’s awful enough to count.
I think I came across “The ruler from hell” somewhere in my history books a couple of years ago though, but I forgot who they were actually talking about… But seriously, anyone even mentioning “His rod of love” should be put under cold water and giving the thrashing of their life. That’s just criminal!
You lot are *good*!
OK, my top three so far:
3) ‘Where there’s a weal, there’s a way’ – Blue Fairy
2) “The cane in Spain mainly causes pain” – Zille. (“Mainly”, though?”!!)
1) ‘Get me to the birch on time’ – Blue Fairy – which is soooo awful, but which one could just imagine as a story! (Hey, should we have a new competition – in which we each have to write a synopsis of the story with that title?!)
Hit me baby one more time.
“Really Awful titles…”
Smacking Her Lips
Whipped Cream
Cane and Abel (you asked for this, you know you did)
Aaah, good times! I could keep this up all night!
Poor Cream – what had she done?
Great suggestions, Candycane
I’m Abel, and Haron is willing to be caned.