The Spanking Writers

The Great Yorkshire Show is in full swing today, with all the flowers, cattle and local crafts shown off on its huge grounds.

I wonder if in years past it was customary for the great houses to enter the competition for the best maid.

The girls in their tidiest, cleanest uniforms would stand in a line on a raised stage. The judges would call up each of them by turn to ask a few questions. The winner would be determined in a secret, heated debate. Most maids would consider it an honour to be entered into the County Show, but there would, of course, be an odd sullen girl, who would have to be threatened with a switch by the housekeeper, before she could be pushed onto the stage.

“What do you like about working in Ravenwood Hall?” one judge would ask.

She would glower at him: “What would you like about getting up before the crack of dawn, fetching and carrying all day, and being slapped around by an old witch?”

(Somewhere in the crowd, the housekeeper all but explodes with rage.)

It isn’t just a switching that’s in store for her now, but a sound birching at the hands of the butler, with all of the servants present, and the master himself supervising the event.