The new academic year approaches at Universities around the country, and two of this year’s Freshers - both regular commenters here - have launched their own spanking blog. Do click over to Freshly Spanked and say hi to Smudge and Irelynn!

Perhaps that’s what inspired the following little reverie:

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One fresher, one second-year girl, both reading the same subject, chatting in the student bar. Tutorial groups for the coming year were being agreed: the best academics found their sessions over-subscribed, and were thus able to be selective. The leading professor was about to interview freshers to see which he would accept into his group:

Fresher: “Was Professor Jenkins your supervisor last year?”

Older girl: “He was.”

Fresher: “You did really well, didn’t you. I’m thinking of applying to him. Is he any good?”

Older girl, blushing: “He’s… inspirational But… he’s different.”

Fresher: “In what way?”

Older girl, looking away. “He… has ways of encouraging you to do well.”

Fresher: “Such as?”

Older girl. “I can’t say. Just… just look on his wall behind his desk when you go for your interview. It’s not there just for effect.”

Cut to professorial office: piles of papers and textbooks everywhere. Our fresher is sitting being interviewed: she stares past the professor’s shoulder, transfixed. For there, hanging from a hook, was a long, thick cane…

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I doubt our favourite Freshers will be quite so lucky, but we’re sending them love and good luck hugs anyway…

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