The name’s Bond. ‘Spanker’ Bond.

Never mind Birdsong, widely believed to be Sebatian Faulks’s masterpiece: his earlier The Girl at the Lion D’Or is one of my favourite books of all time. But now Faulks has found far wider fame, having been commissioned by Ian Fleming’s estate to write a new James Bond novel.

Devil May Care was published earlier in the summer, and became Penguin’s fastest-selling hardback novel ever. A quote from the Guardian’s (somewhat scathing) review suggests that it’s a must-buy for our readers. Bond is talking to Miss Moneypenny:

“if you insist on splitting hairs I shall have to resort to something firmer. A good spanking, perhaps. So you won’t be able to sit down for a week.”

Moneypenny’s reply is somewhat enigmatic:

“Really, James, you’re all talk these days.”

I’m looking forward to the big-screen adaptation already, although I suspect there may be something of a call from readers of this blog for the return of Sean Connery in the lead role.

12 thoughts on “The name’s Bond. ‘Spanker’ Bond.

  • 24 September, 2008 at 9:44 am
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    Hehe… I can’t say I’m a big fan of James Bond – I’ve only seen 1 or 2 of the movies – but it sounds like I’ve been missing out. I wonder what it would be like to be spanked by mr. Bond. He’s the good guy, right? So he’d be fair but firm. Good combination 😉

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  • 24 September, 2008 at 3:48 pm
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    I’m not a huge Bond fan either, but I am a fan of Sean Connery. If the audition included a spanking from Sean Connery, I might even consider taking up acting. 😉

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  • 24 September, 2008 at 5:53 pm
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    Can’t stand Bond movies, but Sean Connery, old, young, all ages in between… oh yes!

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  • 24 September, 2008 at 6:28 pm
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    I’ll happily volunteer to be spanked by Bond, as long as it’s the Daniel Craig version! Yummy!

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  • 24 September, 2008 at 7:53 pm
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    Eeeeeew! Daniel Craig is gross! Harriet!!

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  • 24 September, 2008 at 8:10 pm
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    Well I only ever saw Pierce Brosnan or whatever the guy’s called in a Bond movie so he can spank me. We could line them all up and everyone can take their pick!

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  • 24 September, 2008 at 9:43 pm
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    Would it be greedy of me to have both Sean Connery and Daniel Craig? (I’ll use them for different sorts of spanking, see.)

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  • 24 September, 2008 at 10:49 pm
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    Haron, it’s only greedy if you don’t share 😉

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  • 25 September, 2008 at 3:02 am
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    Oh wow. I love those threats in print. I’d love to see it on screen. I’d love to be spanked by Pierce Brosnan, or Sean Connery, or James Spader, or, or, or, or…

    I think spanking is making a comeback. It’s going to start showing up in books again. These publishers should do a study on the sales stats of books with spanking references, no? I bet they fly!

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  • 25 September, 2008 at 5:40 pm
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    Smudge!!! How can you say that about the gorgeous Daniel and his speedos!

    Talking about spanking making a comeback,I was vegging out watching a very old Fred Astaire movie the other day. He was a psychiatrist who suggested that what over indulged women needed was a good spanking! Don’t think I would have fancied a spanking from Fred though!

    I wonder when spanking was first invented?By Adam and Eve perhaps ?

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  • 26 September, 2008 at 1:30 am
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    I love that Faulks hasn’t vanilla’ed down the very kinky Fleming franchise. I was never that much of a Bond fan until I started reading the novels. They are delightful aberrant.

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  • 26 September, 2008 at 4:29 pm
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    That Fred Astaire was so perceptive. But I’m not sure he’d make a good Bond these days…

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