Alighting from the Victoria Line at Green Park recently, it struck me that the Queen must be a forgetful old dear. After all, the announcer greets each train with, “Change here for Buckingham Palace,” presumably in case Her Majesty (a) happens to be on board, and (b) can’t remember the way home.
Helpful tube announcements could extend to other stations, now I think of it.
Take that little-known stop on the Metropolitan Line: Correctional Institute Station. “Alight here for the Royal Disciplinary Service”, the tannoy proclaims. Passengers peer curiously from the windows at the scared girls who disembark, heading towards their punishments – to be replaced in the carriages by the latest batch of freshly-flogged young ladies who, tears in their eyes, refuse kind offers of a seat.
Is that somewhere out near Wapping?
No, it’s out to the north-west of London – on the tube extension to Middle Wallop…
You forgot Nether Wallop, Abel.
Oh, if only the tube did extend out that far…
What about a tube station called. ‘Whipping Post Square’ Where the announcer calls out. “Alight here for the greatest show on earth. See naughty damsels, with raised skirts, bloomers down, getting their bare bottoms warmed, by birchrod or cane.” Hurry along, for the best 3 hour show in town, and free of charge.”