Yet again I marvel how little it takes to set me off when I happen across a tiniest spanking reference.
I’m reading a novel I’m getting awfully fond of, “Vita Nostra” by Marina & Sergey Dyachenko, in Russian. This book actually has plenty to keep me happy without such mundane thing like spanking scenes or anything. I mean, it’s set in a college, and the theme is “fear” (of teachers, by students), so really, it doesn’t *need* direct references.
I was, however, unduly excited when I read this teeny tiny paragraph (from a teacher, to a student, whom he’d just slapped for putting herself in danger):
Forgive me for striking you. But you need to be struck more than this. I would thrash you if I could.
This isn’t much, but it made me so, so happy. It would be ridiculous, if it didn’t feel so good.
I imagine that being ‘trashed’ would hurt the ego, rather than the bottom!
Sorry, nitpicking aside that book sounds like a veritable spanker/ee’s treasure trove! *Goes to search Amazon for an English translation…*
There’s no translation, I’m afraid. Dyachenko haven’t made it to the English-speanking markets yet, though when they do, the spankos of the world will be very, very happy.
Maybe you could do an extra kinky translation, Haron? I’m sure all English speaking spankos would love you for it!
Hehe, now all I want to know is what the Russian word for “spanking” is!
I should learn to speak Russian. I love that language. Hey, Haron! Teach me a few dirty words, will you?
No.
I think Haron should teach people a few words in Russian – polite phrases useful to girls arriving in a Russian-speaking country. Examples might include:
– “Good morning”
– “Taxi, please”
– “A non-smoking room, please.”
But only she would know if she was providing the accurate translation, rather than teaching girls here to actually say things like:
– “I am very naughty”
– “Take me to the schoolroom”
– “Please thrash me soundly”.
A non-smoking room, out here? Surely, you jest.
Hmm… I looked up “spanking” in an online English-Russian dictionary and got this:
быÑтроходный
I mean, seriously. What on earth is that?! How can anyone ever know how to pronounce that?
For good measure, I’ve translated something into Russian for Haron to decipher. I’m sure it doesn’t look anything like the English version. Muahahahaha.
Haron – непоÑÐ»ÑƒÑˆÐ½Ð°Ñ Ð´ÐµÐ²Ð¾Ñ‡ÐºÐ°, которую нужно шлепнуть обоÑнованно.
There you go Haron! Thank me anytime you want!
Jeez, Irelynn! You’ve got no manners, have you? If you want Haron to teach you dirty words, you don’t go ‘Hey Haron, do this!’. You say, “Haron, darling, seeing as how you are so wonderful and clever and kind and beautiful and splendid, would you pretty please teach me some rude words in Russian so that I may avoid accidentally insulting people if I ever find myself conversing in that rather brilliant language?” Honestly! See, Haron? It’s okay. You don’t need to despair. Some of us are polite
Can I learn bad words now, please?
Irelynn, honey, when you look something up in a dictionary, you really ought to check the translation back from English. Because… well, our Russian-speaking readers are about to choke with laughter right now.
Smudge, very good, have a gold star for manners! Still, no.
How about the good old fashioned:
Please?
Please?
Please?
Please?
Please?
Please?
Please?
Haron?
Abel? Haron won’t educate Irelynn and me
That’s bad, isn’t it? We only want to *learn*. Can you tell her? She has to teach us Russian?
And Haron: TEACH US RUDE WORDS NOW!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!
Hmpf.
Well girls, if you are genuinely *so* desperate to learn Russian, I’m sure I can be of help. The system I manage at work is translated into Russian, so I can give you the English text and the equivalent Russian translation and you can at least learn to read some Russian.
What was that you said? All you really wanted to learn was naughty Russian words?! Tut!!
Lol well I can’t be bothered to do that Haron. If I look up a word in an online dictionary I don’t really expect it to be accurate. They never are. Besides, it’s not as if I speak Russian (hmm.. wonder why not? Haron!) so all those little letters look exactly the same to me anyway!
But I’m happy to have provided some entertainment for all you Russian-speaking people. In return for the free entertainment, you could provide me with some naughty Russian words. Or at least the real Russian word for spanking. It’s only fair. Pretty please with sugar and canes and paddles on top and honey and blah blah blah… 😉
I’m glad you’re just refusing to teach your young, impressionable (?) readers naughty words, Haron. For a moment, I thought you’d rejected Evie’s suggestion that you provide a kinky translation of Vita Nostra. That seems like a much more suitable project for one of your creative and linguistic talents!
I have to say I’m “on the same page” as you when it comes to picking up spanking references in many things I read. I think it’s a superpower… being able to make a naughty reference out of just about anything.
Do you know what, out of “superpower” and “one-track mind”, I’ll pick the former explanation.