I pondered surprises this morning: how much I don’t like them where playing spanking scenes is concerned. I’m not sure if it’s always been this way, but these days unless the scene is following very specific logic, I feel uncomfortable and thrown.

I’m not saying that I want to know exactly and in advance what’s going to be happening to me: there should be enough room for manoeuvre for the top to use a slipper if he wants to, or a cane if he feels like it, or make me write lines, or whatever. But I really need to be told at the start how many issues we’ll be dealing with, and what the rules are for the allocation of strokes.

For example, “and if you move, I’ll give you an extra one”, before a caning starts, is fine. “You’ve moved! It’s an extra stroke!” is not fine, even if we’ve played before, and I’d had extra strokes for moving in previous scenes.

What particularly throws me is when I feel the punishment has come to its logical end, and I’ve suffered through it, then to hear “I’m not sure I’ve got through to you – I think another six are in order.” I just shoot straight out of character, and feel like I’ve been lied to.

I wonder how it is for you? Do you like to be taken unawares?