Over the weekend I caught up with a number of blogs on writing technique, and that made me think about bottoms.
No, this isn’t necessarily further proof of my one-track-mindedness. Bear with me.
One piece of advice erotica writers always get is to go easy on euphemisms when talking about genitalia. So, no “thick-trunked love truncheon”, please: just say “cock”. Or “member”, if you’re shy. If you find yourself repeating a word so much that you have to grope about for lots of alternative ways of saying it, you’re probably talking about cocks too much, or being too technical. The word “cock” should be invisible, like “said” and “asked” in dialogue tags: it’s not about the instrument, anyway, it’s about what the whole of the character is going through.
So I wondered: how about bottoms in spanking fiction? Must they be described unobtrusively? I expect, plenty of people read spanking stories because they are somewhat fond of bottoms and the act of spanking them, so smoothing away the accents could leave the readers disappointed. On the other hand, a spanking scene is about the whole person: the emotions, the reactions, the physical distress (or pleasure) – it would seem quite a waste to focus overmuch on “peachy globes acquiring a russet blush”.
I’ve never found myself bereft of ways to say “bottom”, but I’ve never particularly thought about how I was going about the writing part.
If other spanking writers care to share their bottom policy, I’ll be very interested to hear it. Do you use lots of different words? Or detailed descriptions? Or do you skip the butt altogether, and go directly for the brain?
Show the work.
Well, “thick-trunked love truncheon” sounds like a particularly clumsy tongue-twister….
A bit OT but there’s an episode of South Park where Mr Garrison writes a “romance novel” in which he spends the entire time describing the male organ in copious detail. Those blogs are SO right about the need to steer clear of all that…
Anyway, as I’m no writer, I’ll just go with “variety is the spice of life” 😀 Seriously, the bottom may be the centre of the action, but it’s how the characters feel, think and react that makes things interesting IMO.
IME, the single easiest way to tell that a spanking story has been written by a man is a clinical description, however brief, of her bottom. You know, like, “The schoolgirl had gone much too far, and I knew what I had to do. Soon, she found herself squirming over my knee, with her chubby bottom bared and the somewhat incongruous fullness of her womanhood peeking out between those scissoring, coltish legs.” Occasionally, he even manages to work in her bra size and mention her ginger hair in the same two sentences.
Ok, that’s obviously parody, but it amuses me that even very good male writers who can get into the heads of their female protagonists usually include a concrete physical description. Or is it just tops? Do female tops write like this too? After all, topping is by nature much more visual than bottoming.
Um, in case you haven’t worked it out, how the characters think and feel is much more important to me than what their bottom looks like, especially in a school story. OTOH, with adults playing school, I think it can work very well for the “Schoolmaster” to become quite distracted by such things! Still, I’m more interested in his response to her appearance than I am in her appearance, if that makes sense.
I like your way of putting it, that the word in question (“cock,” “bottom”) should be invisible like “said.” I think this is what I must be going for when I write. On the other hand, in a lot of spanking fiction, there is a charge from saying the words themselves. Cant phrases are hot-buttons for many readers. “Lower your trousers and bend over.” “You are going to have your bare bottom spanked.” “Such behavior will earn you a very sore bottom.” etc.
I will say that nothing turns me off more than cutsie or crass language in this vein. (I encounter a lot of this over on mmsa.) Ultimately, what counts as tasteful and what as gross is probably a matter of opinion, but not forcing it on the page makes for better writing. M had a phrase which nicely describes the type of writing I dislike: It’s just too pant-pant-slurp. ha ha ha ha.
Ooh, I like “pant-pant-slurp”!!
I very consciously avoid repetition when I write, so I try to find different ways to refer to the hindmost part of the anatomy. I will intersperse clinical terms with euphemisms, depending on the nature of the piece.
Hugs,
Hermione
OMG you wrote ‘cock’ on our blog. Aaaaaaaargh….
It is a hard (ahem) part of writing spanking stories. ‘Arse’ is too crude, ‘ass’ too donkey-like, ‘bum’ too common, ‘posterior’ too antiquated, ‘seat’ just silly… so I tend to use the occasional ‘buttocks’, ‘backside’ and ‘behind’ (none of which I especially like) just so a ‘bottom’ doesn’t appear too often in a story – or avoid it altogether.
I used to giggle at Sarah Veitch’s overuse of the words “orbs” and “globes” as used to describe nude female posteriors. Particularly when said orbs or globes were supposed to be “glowing” or “bouncing”. It used to conjure up visions of enormous beach balls bouncing down the road, lit up Mathmos-style…
Thesaurus.com comes up with the following synonyms: back end, backside, behind, bottom, bum, derrière, fanny*, fundament, gluteus maximus, haunches, hindquarters, posterior, rear, rump, seat, tush, breech, tail.
No orbs or globes, though!
xxx
*Clearly, Thesaurus.com is American.
Ah, “glowing orbs” must be from the same family as “throbbing snake of lust”
(P.S. If it’s throbbing, see a doctor.)
I’m with Cath, really hate the over use of globes! Or orbs. Or cheeks!
I’m a call a spade a spade girl, so I usually say bottom. But don’t reference it too much and I try to talk about the girl and what she’s feeling as much, if not more than the actual spanking.
Someone very wise gave me great advice when I was struggling to write my first spanking scene for Winterbrook. Describe the scene, what’s happening and how the girl is reacting and feeling to it.
Oh hang on that was Haron wasn’t it dear!
Oh, Abel, I’m sorry to tell you that you now turn up as the #1 hit for Abel, spanking, cocks on Google. (Well, without the commas, anyway). Yes, even before, I added this. Surprisingly, you only come up third for “Haron spanking cocks.”
Yes, I’m procrastinating…
Oo, this is one I struggle with so much. I hate repitition, but there are also very few ways of talking about bottoms without descending into the realms of glowing orbs or bouncing haunches and you have my permission to kill me if I ever utter either of those phrases in a piece of fiction.
I probably mention the bottom too much, but I’m working on that…
And, as per Indy, I agree that descriptions of bottoms very much seem to be a male writer thing. I’m sure not exclusively, but the majority of the time, and also like Indy, I could not be less interested!
It may be the bi part of me talking, but I don’t mind descriptions of bottom. Just as long as they’re brief and subtle.
I don’t mind descriptions, either, when they don’t detract from the story line. Jason Oak used to do that very well on Lowewood– shamelessly lascivious descriptions. They didn’t in general do much for me themselves, but they helped paint J’s character. Mr S once did it quite beautifully, noticing young Jessica’s bottom with passing regret that this was not to be a time to enjoy that.
It jars me most in a straight F/f disciplinary scene in which the top pauses to comment on the naughty girl’s attractiveness in a rather detached clinical way. I’d rather know what she’s feeling.
I probably should have made it clear that I didn’t have anyone on this site in mind with my parody!
I think it’s pretty clear that you didn’t, Indy, ’cause Abel doesn’t write descriptions on principle (he wants the reader to be able to substitute herself into the picture), and I rarely write them cause I’m bad at visual stuff.
That said, the scissoring coltish legs in your parody is actually a rather hot image!
@Haron Actually I think you’ve touched on both reasons why I don’t like bottom descriptions much. 1) As a reader, because I’m subconciously putting myself in the place of the “victim” in question, so too much description of their physical form inhibits me doing that, and 2) As a writer, because I’m rubbish at that sort of stuff.
@Indy – don’t be two upset that she found your parody porn hot!