Visiting Stuttgart again recently, I found the usually-lovely central park to be full of tents, occupied by a large group of aggressive, dirty, uncouth, self-righteous drop-outs – sorry, environmental protestors.
The issue at stake? The planned rebuilding of the Hauptbahnhof, the city’s central station. The investment of many billions of euros, creating jobs and radically improving public transport in the area, will necessitate the demise of some nearby trees – albeit, once the project’s completed, there’ll be considerably more green space than at present.
There’s a genuine local concern over the lack of consultation that’s taken place regarding the plans, and certainly there’s going to be some disruption in the medium-term. But show a Swampy a threatened tree, and he’ll hug or climb it.
Now, consider this photo – taken in dim early-morning light as I crossed the park from my hotel:
The eagle-eyed may notice, in the background, a few of the tents, some of the banners, the yellow ribbons marking the trees that the protestors want to save. And in the foreground? The edge of a lovely copse of 20 young silver birch trees – planted by the municipal authorities to assist local gentlemen needing to correct their errant girls.
Suddenly, I saw the rationale for the protest. The heroes in the tents were not only intent on saving the planet – but were also championing the use of the birch. How valiant of them to camp out in the cold to ensure a plentiful supply of rods for future floggings.
But on closer inspection? Those flags, the signs, the ribbons tied to every tree in the park? Not a single one on the birches! Yes, dear readers, those callous hippy yobs were looking to save every tree *other* than the most important ones of all. Down with their infernal protest! Bring in the police! Clear their tents away and send the good-for-nothings home to do an honest day’s work for a change…
Abel – not all of us environmental protesters are ” aggressive, dirty, uncouth, self-righteous drop-outs”, and nor are we “good-for-nothings” who have never done “an honest day’s work”… be careful, please.
Erm, *humour* alert?
(And even if you don’t *get* the humour, these somewhat sardonic comments were clearly about one specific group of protestors, not about any wider issues. Writes he now suffering a slight sense of humour loss himself!)
So, you’ve finally come across Stuttgart 21, Abel?! Have you ever thought about the idea that the protesters are bottoms who try to save their behinds by saving all the trees EXCEPT for the birch trees? ๐
By the way, one of the modifications recommended by the arbitration committee chaired by Heiner Geiรลธler is that all the healthy trees should not be cut down but replanted elsewhere. So maybe the birch trees have a chance after all? Well, of course only as long as certain tops haven’t cut off all of their branches and made them look sick?! ๐
Although my favorite spanking implement for naughty women’s bare bottoms is the cane. The birchrod for me, conjures up a bygone period such as the Victorian Era. When men were men, and birched painfully, but lovingly, a naughty woman’s bare bottom, be she a wife, mother, daughter, aunt, niece, maid, female cook, or governess. In those days, up would go a female’s dress, down would come her bloomers, and a swishy birch, would descend upon their naked rear ends. Because the master of the house, commanded it. And righty so.
Maybe you should birch the protestors Abel and see if they change their mind about which trees to save…
@Kaelah – but what’s the “21” part of it? I’ve not worked that out yet: 21 strokes?
sixofthebest – I’m always split between choosing the cane and the birch – precisely because the latter has such historical connotations.
@Rebecca – I doubt their snarling dogs would approve!
Abel, the 21 in “Stuttgart 21” stands for 21st Century, not for 21 strokes. To my mind 21 is really in odd number concerning strokes. 12 is a good number, 24 as well (okay, depending on the implement and on whether I’m on the giving or on the receiving end… ๐ ). 18 is still an acceptable number, but 21? Nope, I think I’m too old for adapting to such a strange idea… ๐