A few years back, I – or rather one of my role-playing characters, Rev Jenkins – gave a Sunday morning sermon at a school weekend we were attending. Last Sunday saw another such – albeit Haron ended up delivering it on my behalf, as I’d not been in the right frame of mind to stay at the event after much sadness the day before. We thought some of you might enjoy it:
This morning’s lesson is an uplifting story, with a message that is so very pertinent to the lives of our girls here in the school. I’d like to read to you from the Book of Jonathan, chapter 13, starting from verse 666…
In the time of the prophet, a young girl didst live in a fine house in a beautiful, bountiful oasis. She was verily a fair maiden, pretty, untouched and untainted.
One day, a handsome stranger didst appear in the area, resting in a nearby copse. The curious girl hastened to his side, seeking his favour. She offered him help in his times of hardship, and lo, the visitor was made happy.
But as the day turned to dusk, the dusk to dark, the girl’s father became worried. For where was his precious daughter? He hunted high and low, near and far. He knelt in the temple before the priests, made offerings to the Lord, and offered prayers for her safe return.
Now near the village wast a small stream, and there he didst stumble across his offspring. The stifling heat of the still summer evening hadst full overcome the girl, for she hadst shed her clothes and lay naked alongside the stranger.
The man seized his daughter, and threw stones at the impostor to drive him towards the desert. And then he led her home.
She wast placed over the knees of her father, and didst plead for mercy as she wast sorely chastised. And then she wast sent to the garden outside, to fetch rods with which she wast whipped still more painfully.
She was sent to her bedchamber, where she lay face down, resting her hands on her tender places. So tormented was she by thoughts of what had happened in the bush that she cried out loudly, repeatedly and uncontrollably. As he listened to her moans filling the still night air, her father gave thanks for her safe return. And he praised the Lord.
For how fortunate is a man to have a good girl by his side. And how blessed is such a girl to have the love and discipline of a good man.
Here endeth this morning’s lesson.
Amen
I also praise the Lord after chancing on that site:
http://leatherthorn.homestead.com/
One of their paddles is called the Imp Lament. Isn’t it a cute name?
After each week’s sermon, the clergyman in charge should ask the men in the congregaton, have they any wives, or daughter’s, that need to confess their sin’s for the week, and bring them forth, to the altar, that they maybe corporally chastised, on their bare bottoms. And each man shall witness his female kin, to do such bidding. The corporal chastisement should either be with a birchrod or cane, given to these females, by the clergyman in charge.
Pingback: Ellie Goes to Lowewood, Part I: Settling In? | Not So Submissive