Sometimes scenes are long in the planning: there’s careful choreography, detailed discussion of plots and preferences. And sometimes play’s far more spontaneous – such as many lovely vignettes at Eliane’s birthday party last weekend.
Girls dragged upstairs to be put over my knee. Our host’s new razor strop and strap being put to good effect. Cate Stoker and Emma Jane, bent over the end of the bed in turn to be strapped with my belt and then caned, Mr Allen and I sharing whacking duties.
That all sounds remarkably natural and relaxed, as I write it. Visit kinky house, ask girls to play, spankings ensue. But, now, here’s the thing. Those of you who don’t know me personally will probably think that spanking play comes easily to me – that every kinky lass who crosses my path risks ending up over my lap or school desk.
In my work life, I’ve fairly extrovert – but there, I have an excuse. Yet when it comes to matters kinky, I’m pretty shy. It’s not that play, when it happens, isn’t great and successful. But asking a girl whether she wants to be spanked? I find it hard to pluck up the courage – whether by email or (worse) face to face. She won’t want to be spanked by me… And what if she says no? My fear of rejection is stupidly high and, frankly, getting worse – despite, I like to think, being largely unfounded.
It doesn’t stop me altogether, of course: I’ve enjoyed some truly lovely play in recent months. But for every great scene, there have been evenings with kinky friends which have happily passed by with dinner, wine, chat and an early night, and me far from bold enough to raise the topic of play – even with people I’d dearly love to have spanked.
So it’s increasingly the case that you’ve been able to find me in the kitchen at parties, to steal a phrase, when I should probably have been aiming for the study or a bedroom. Must be more assertive and confident – I think… Last Saturday was a good starting point; here’s hoping I can pluck up the courage to continue the trend.
It’s rather sweet that you should admit to shyness. I feel the same way.
I can relate to this, I’m far too shy to ever ask for a spanking but like you, would probably not be assumed to be shy by others, so while you’ll be in the kitchen at parties, I’ll be on the sofa drinking champagne and hoping someone will ask to spank me or even better, just take me by the arm and lead the way before bending me over and spanking, just the way you did on Saturday actually
the resulting spanking being rather lovely…
So perhaps we can both go for the more confident and assertive approach, although that said, an evening of dinner, wine, spanking chat and an early night also sounds pretty good!
Thanks for sharing this, it’s certainly helped me to see that tops can be shy too, which in turn might well help me to fight the shy when with lovely tops and perhaps one day I’ll be brave and ask someone for a spanking, odds are it will be you xxx
Well, I would reply, but… I guess I’m just too shy.
[What Sarah said. Also, as a friend, stop worrying so much dear. Really. You don’t need to. 😉 xx]
Please never be too shy to ask me
Wow, am I the only kink extrovert? I used to be THE shyest person, but that was before I got online and found out that I’m not a freak for wanting to be spanked. It turned me into a total extrovert. If I want to be spanked by somebody, I’ll ask them if they want to spank me. Doesn’t hurt to ask, they usually say yes, even though I’m not some skinny young thing. : )
Shy I can understand. I’m far too shy to ever ask for a spanking. In fact I’m so shy I think I’d say no to one offered, even if I wanted it. Asking to spank someone must be even harder.
Although I’m not particularly shy, I have been known to over-think the question of when is the best time to ask a woman if I may spank her. Even at a play party, the question seems rather personal, although the woman and I may have spent plenty of time getting to know one another.
But this brings up an interesting psychological aspect of spanking for me – what I might refer to as the “dark secret” quality. Whereas I think it’s completely wonderful, the openness that one finds more and more out in the society about kinkiness. We really should be open and proud to the extent we can. However, there’s just something… rather yummy (for lack of a better descriptor) in thinking that I might share this “dark secret” with someone. And the discovery and surprise of that, along with her consent to participate, is rather heady!
Thanks for the post!
Regards,
Quai
It was just my luck that you walked into the kitchen just as i clumsily popped a champagne cork that knocked a cup off the draining board and nearly broke a window…you sounded pretty assertive to me…AND acted on it…;-)
Your not the only one Abel…i’m pretty shy really, especially at parties, I’m fine with people I know, but find it hard to make small talk with others…very silly really, but i’m working on it.