How about this, for a newspaper clipping that’s wrong on so many levels:

It dates from the New York Times of October 1903, and reads:

Spanked Bride of Fourteen

Columbia, N.J., Oct. 4. – When Margaret Matlida, the fourteen-year-old daughter of William Smith, appeared at breakfast this morning, her hair “done up” and her skirt obviously lengthened by unskilled fingers attracted the attention of her father.

“What’s all this about?” he inquired.

“I’m married now, and can wear my hair the way I like,” was the reply. “Albert Cisco and I went to Washington, and Judge Craveling married us.”

“Come her, Miss-” began Mr. Smith in a deep, ominous voice, but his daughter corrected him.

“”‘Mrs.,’ if you please,” she said, in a superior manner.

There followed a short, sharp struggle which ended in Mrs. Albert Ellis Cisco being placed in an attitude which gave her every opportunity for examining the pattern of the carpet from a height of about a foot and a half. Then Mr. Smith’s right hand rose and fell with painful regularity during a period of two minutes. That part of the incident closed, Margaret Matilda retired to her room.”

Somewhat amusingly, the young lady’s husband[he, a man who'd just wed a 14-year-old?] then pressed charges against his new father-in-law for assault and battery. The outcome of the case – and indeed the transcript of proceedings – sadly appear to be lost.