The Spanking Writers

Abel’s 40 today (and he doesn’t behave a day over 14). *g* That’s quite a few birthday smacks for yours truly… Oh, dear.

Luckily for me, we had to leave our assorted canes in storage at our previous hotel. Unluckily for me, this hotel has provided us with brand-new rubber beach flip-flops. Abel hasn’t worn his at all; apparently, from the moment he saw them he knew that one of these would be perfect for his birthday spanking.

I have rarely been spanked with anything that looked so fearsome, and hurt so little! Even though I’d managed to earn extra strokes (for missing out the year 1999 in my count, for example), my biggest problem throughout the spanking was a violent attack of the giggles. I suppose, it did start to sting a bit once we got into the new millennium, and the one to grow on was quite ouchie… but a terrible ordeal it was not.

And that’s fine, you know. After all, birthdays are for laughing, being happy and eating cake, right?

Happy birthday, my lovely husband

PS Abel’s just read that the arrangements for the poolside buffet on New Year’s Eve include ‘viking style seating’. He’s wondering whether he’ll be expected to join in the raping and pillaging, or whether he’ll just be able to punish any girls who try to escape.

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We don’t allow advertising here on The Spanking Writers, but we thought we’d make an exception today by promoting the wonderful Asli Crafts, at unit G.23 in Kuala Lumpur’s Central Market.

We discovered our new favourite store whilst coming downstairs from the school uniform shop (sadly, too complicated and scary to be a source of useful accessories). There in front of us was what looked like a standard touristy stall – but with a large bucket full of lengths of rattan, of varying thickness, in the doorway. Inside, moreover, were further such containers, in which the rods – a hundred or more - had been cut neatly, one end folded to make an elegant handle.

We worked our way through the selection, picking out the prime pieces, and took them across to the counter. The young lady totted up our purchase – 21 Malaysian Ringgit, or about £3 / $6, for four beautifully made canes. (That’s comparable value even to the implements I bought in Singapore’s hardware stores).

We’d noticed her looking strangely at us as we’d been browsing her stock, and she did look extremely surprised: “What are you going to use them for?”

I thought quickly, understanding that sometimes honesty isn’t always quite the best policy: “We have a shop at home, and the hooks on the end will be great for lifting down bags from the highest shelves.”

“Oh,” she replied, looking astonished. “Here they’re used to punish naughty pupils at school.” With a rueful look, she added: “Our schools are very strict.”

I thought I’d press home the advantage of my obvious innocence in all matters relating to corporal punishment. “Only at school, or do parents use them too?”

“Mainly at school.” She continued: “These days they only punish them when they are very, very bad. They used to punish you for anything, like making too much noise.”

With a friendly smile: “You must have been glad to leave school, then.”

“Very glad.”

We thanked her for her assistance – she’d wrapped the canes extremely neatly for us – and set off on our way, walking around the corner with entirely straight faces until we were out of eye- and ear-shot, and could collapse in a fit of laughter.

Combined with the serving spoon made from sea coconut wood (very, very dense) that we’d purchased earlier in the day, it seems to have been a most successful shopping trip all round. And I’m told by Haron that sleeping on one’s front isn’t that uncomfortable, really…

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Applying arnica to a well-marked bottom earlier, I wondered how and when this particular lotion was first identified as a source of healing for punished girls.

More to the point, cruel as I am, I wondered what other alternatives had been tried whilst early spankos experimented.

“Come here, my darling, and let me rub in this nettle essence to see if it helps.” Maybe not.

“I wonder if this garlic paste might help”. Owwwww.

“Bring over the deep heat.”

Now there’s an interesting idea…

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Thanks are due to our friend Rapunzel, who sent us these pictures from her holiday in Charleston, SC. Look! A freshman paddle! Used on military cadets! *fans self* Apparently, it’s called “The Palmetto Paddle”:

Part of the reason I’m so excited about this is because once upon a time (when I didn’t have anybody to spank me yet) I was blown away by a book called “The Lords of Discipline” by Pat Conroy, set in a military college, and based on the author’s experiences of harsh realities of the Citadel.

The book is full of not spanking as much as downright mistreatment of cadets, and in the full light of day I would deny getting even a remote thrill of excitement out of it. When the lights go out, though… I can be one of the freshmen if I want to.

My copy of the book was tenth-hand from an expat bookstore in Kiev, and has fallen to pieces years ago, and I haven’t thought about it for a while, when along comes Rapunzel and her photos. Fantasies galore.
(Apparently, there’s also a film, but I haven’t seen it.)

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I’ve been diving into the origins of my favourite material. Berkeley University kindly sent some students to help with my research:

Raw rattan grows in the rain forest. Its favorite location is in what forestry guys tend to call secondary forest, where the trees are fairly young and a lot of light penetrates to the forest floor…. Unlike bamboo, which grows almost like a tree, rattan is a creeping plant that closely resembles the stem of a rose. It grows from the forest floor, using the trees to climb upward, and is typically harvested by the rattan farmers when it is years old.

Rattan is great for a sustainable development project because the local farmers actually plant rattan in “gardens,” and the rattan needs trees to grow.

Yippee! Spanking implements are environmentally friendly!

These gardens are between 2 and 5 hectares in size (5 to 12 acres) and typically yield around 1.3 metric tons of rattan every couple of years.

Wow. That’s a lot of sore backsides. A LOT.

Because the trees are left standing when rattan is harvested, the raw material can be classified as a non-forest product, and can therefore be exempt from forestry product tariffs and restrictions.

So why are canes so expensive, huh?

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Singapore’s a fascinating city, with plenty to keep visitors from indolence. Like, for example, the Chinatown area – a fascinating mix of old and new, local and touristy, temples mixing with mosques interspersed with restaurants and souvenir stalls.

And then there are the local shopping malls, where few western visitors seem to tread. Yet when hunting for hardware shops yesterday, my spanko intuition suggested that – other options having failed – these might be fertile grounds. And so it was, a display of washing up utensils giving way to a far more interesting basket of products.

Do you want the good news or the bad news? OK, dear readers, let’s start by being positive. Urged on by numerous comments on my previous post, I had located the famous local rotan, beloved of Singaporean parents. Even better, they’re far meaner little implements than I’d expected – a little over two feet (60cm) long, very whippy but with sufficient bite to cut home their message.

But bad news, too: they only had three canes on offer, and one of those was cracked (provoking most inappropriate thoughts about daddy breaking the rotan in mid-use, and sending his daughter to the neighbouring store to buy a replacement, before continuing her punishment).

Not to be deterred, I continued to the next mall, the mammoth People’s Place Complex. After much frustrated wandering, I spied the metro station, and was about to give up. And then, there in the distance, glimmering in Xanadu-like splendour, I saw it: the outdoor hardware stall.

Twelve canes, my friends, with their kaleidoscopic plastic handles: reds, yellows, greens, blues*! (I imagined a schoolgirl, squirming uncomfortably at her desk after her caning, as her teacher read the freshly-delivered note to the class: “You are to return to the Headmaster’s office. Apparently he used the wrong-coloured rotan, and needs to correct his error.”). The poor girl on the cash desk positively trembled, putting on her very best behaviour as she wrapped my purchases.

And even more good news! Praise be to the Singaporean finance ministry, for prices have remained at the levels quoted in 1999: the equivalent of two pounds sterling capturing my entire hoard. (More inappropriate thoughts at this point, of a local girl given her weekly pocket money by her father, minus the “50 cents deducted for the cost of the rotan I had to buy”). I wonder how much I’d get on eBay for an “Authentic Singaporean rotan punishment canes, as used for parental discipline”?!

I view it as a matter of public service, really. Think of all the local cuties who’ll be spared the rods that I’m exporting… And think of the painful pleasures awaiting those of you who put in requests…

* No purple rotans, alas, for those who wanted them. I’m wondering whether two canes, one red, one blue, tied together might do the trick?

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We were discussing foot-caning, as one does, when a kinky friend used the word ‘falaka’. I have to confess that this was new to my vocabulary, so I had to do my research. The marvellous Agony & Ecstasy site threw up some context.

The falaka, it seems, originated in Persia and refers to a traditional form of punishment on the soles of the feet in much of the Middle East. The ‘falaka’ itself:

is actually the name of the device for immobilizing the feet, equivalent to the European stocks. It is a thick and long pole with a rope tied at its ends… The bare feet of the punished are put inside the rope and the pole is turned, making the rope tighten, until the ankles are firmly pressed against the pole.

Persian schools apparently adapted the technique:

The culprit could be restrained by the falaka, or could be made to sit at the teacher’s desk, take off his/her shoes and socks, and put his/her feet on the desk, with a pupil holding each ankle. It also could be given with the pupil laying on his back on the floor, and two others holding one foot each in the air. The punishment instrument, in this environment, could be a stick or a wooden ruler. Sometimes the pupil had to go back to his/her home barefooted (probably receiving there some additional punishment).

It’s that final sentence that really stuck in my mind. “Oh look: Haron’s walking gingerly up the drive, barefoot. She must have been in trouble…” I’m mentally unbuckling my belt even as I write.

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Apparently, at some county fairs you can get your horse riding equipment really cheap. Somewhat like this:

(source via)

Fifty pence for a riding crop?

I can just imagine Abel striding to the stall, whipping out a fiver, and grinning like a cannibal after a nice dinner.

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Abel went out to a see a day of cricket, and came back with the two signs they get handed at the match, the ones you hold up to show the player scored 4 or 6. He thought they might be useful in announcing the number of strokes.

I’ll do my best not to giggle when in the middle of a scene he shows up with this:

or this

Although, knowing him, I’m now slightly concerned about getting

or even

Hmm, recycling bin, I think.

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A big vote of thanks to Atlanta radio station DaveFM for the free paddles they were handing out to the crowds at the marvellous Virginia-Highland Summerfest last Saturday.

I’m sure they’d claim that the implements were intended to be used as fans to cool passers-by in the hot Atlanta weather, but we knew better… and a very effective device for a warm-up spanking they proved to be, too.

My friend’s suggestion that the ‘FM’ designation meant that she should be the one using the new paddle on me was emphatically rejected.

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