Singapore’s a fascinating city, with plenty to keep visitors from indolence. Like, for example, the Chinatown area – a fascinating mix of old and new, local and touristy, temples mixing with mosques interspersed with restaurants and souvenir stalls.
And then there are the local shopping malls, where few western visitors seem to tread. Yet when hunting for hardware shops yesterday, my spanko intuition suggested that – other options having failed – these might be fertile grounds. And so it was, a display of washing up utensils giving way to a far more interesting basket of products.
Do you want the good news or the bad news? OK, dear readers, let’s start by being positive. Urged on by numerous comments on my previous post, I had located the famous local rotan, beloved of Singaporean parents. Even better, they’re far meaner little implements than I’d expected – a little over two feet (60cm) long, very whippy but with sufficient bite to cut home their message.
But bad news, too: they only had three canes on offer, and one of those was cracked (provoking most inappropriate thoughts about daddy breaking the rotan in mid-use, and sending his daughter to the neighbouring store to buy a replacement, before continuing her punishment).
Not to be deterred, I continued to the next mall, the mammoth People’s Place Complex. After much frustrated wandering, I spied the metro station, and was about to give up. And then, there in the distance, glimmering in Xanadu-like splendour, I saw it: the outdoor hardware stall.
Twelve canes, my friends, with their kaleidoscopic plastic handles: reds, yellows, greens, blues*! (I imagined a schoolgirl, squirming uncomfortably at her desk after her caning, as her teacher read the freshly-delivered note to the class: “You are to return to the Headmaster’s office. Apparently he used the wrong-coloured rotan, and needs to correct his error.”). The poor girl on the cash desk positively trembled, putting on her very best behaviour as she wrapped my purchases.
And even more good news! Praise be to the Singaporean finance ministry, for prices have remained at the levels quoted in 1999: the equivalent of two pounds sterling capturing my entire hoard. (More inappropriate thoughts at this point, of a local girl given her weekly pocket money by her father, minus the “50 cents deducted for the cost of the rotan I had to buy”). I wonder how much I’d get on eBay for an “Authentic Singaporean rotan punishment canes, as used for parental discipline”?!
I view it as a matter of public service, really. Think of all the local cuties who’ll be spared the rods that I’m exporting… And think of the painful pleasures awaiting those of you who put in requests…
* No purple rotans, alas, for those who wanted them. I’m wondering whether two canes, one red, one blue, tied together might do the trick?
So pleased to hear it was a successful shopping trip after a frustrating start
I’d love to have heard what the cash desk girl reported when she got home, perhaps her Daddy would have been cross with her for letting the whole stock go and she may have had to wander even further afield than Abel on a quest to find a new one for home…. or two tied together if she was a purple girl!
Colour me intrigued! I trust there will be photographs?
xx Dee
Nice idea, Sarah
I like, a lot!
Dee – good thinking, but I’ll have to wait til I get home as I’ve no means of downloading photos here. Actually, perhaps I should head back out to Chinatown before the week’s out and take a photo of the stall
No pink ones either?
What’s the point in buying canes when they’re not pink!
Ah well, good that you managed to find some anyway. I’m really not worried, seeing how I’m not really in danger of anyone using one on me 😀 It will look nice on my wall… uhh… under my bed… though!
Is this the most develish thought yet I wonder – to send a girl back to the Headmaster because the wrong color of cane was used? If that thought goes into roleplay might you not have a little mutiny on your hands in that far colony……..or might mutiny find the girl delivered to the local disciplinarian for treatment that makes the headmaster look like a pussycat in comparison…..stories should write themselves by the time you land home I expect.
Perhaps the young lady in question should have checked that the Headmaster had the right colour cane before bending over in the first place… tricky to point out his error respectfully I imagine but better than a rematch!
Well she could use the line that she knew that he would want her punishment to be “effective” (Abel loves that word so doesn’t he!) and so perhaps she should swap it for the other color…..
I’m rather thinking that the cane colours denote severity (weight, whippiness etc.). And the school rules (by-laws?) dictate that the correct cane MUST be used.
Now, it could be that the young lady had already been punished with a more severe cane than was strictly necessary… but still needed to be whacked with the lighter version…
And it it were her first time in his office, she might not know the rules, or might be confused, or might be so upset that she didn’t notice, or might not actually have seen the cane before bending over and feeling it stripe her…
(PS Kate – I am just imagining some story set in a grand old school. The formidable Headmaster appears to thrash a girl. Using his pink cane. Nah, doesn’t quite work for me!)
Heh heh…
I like it when men are manly enough that wearing pink doesn’t intimidate them!
I AM enjoying Abel’s trip to Singapore, it’s great fun
Kate beat me to (excuse the pun) the pink cane complaint!
Only a man who was truley confortuble with his sexuality would use a pink cane.. (not that I’m suggeting Abel isn’t entirely masculine..!)
My husband says he’s not sure he likes the idea of any colors on the cane, but that if there has to be colours the only ones that work for him are purple, black and blue. Trust me, he’s very comfortable with his sexuality and pink didn’t rate a mention!!
Evie – given my love of cooking, theatre, books, clothes, music, most of my female spanko friends think I must really be gay, despite the extensive evidence to the contrary!
Rob – tell him I wasn’t sure until I saw them, but the coloured handles are rather cute and domestic!
Abel: Oh, a weekend in Singapore to pick up a few canes with coloured handles sounds like a lovely idea to me!
By the way, you sound just like my son. He loves to cook (and eat) adores clothes (he got that from me) as well as music, film and autobiographical books. He was my partner in crime even as a five year old. I would ask his opinion of a new outfit and he would sit there and say “Yes buy it Mummy. It looks lovely.” and he still does that sometimes. At school he knew lots of girls and they thought he was gay which I thought was such a hoot, because, I assure you, his masculinity is undeniable!!!! You don’t suppose……(He will say to me sometimes, “Are you being cheeky?)
*shivers* canes! I’m very glad you had such a great trip, Abel, and amused by the shop assistant’s reaction. But I’m feel a bit sorry for poor Haron!
BTW, did you not have any trouble with customs at this end?
Shhh, Spankable, he hasn’t made it back yet!
…and no telling them, right? I wouldn’t want a collective of worried girls arranging an HM Customs welcoming party to confiscate the canes…!
(Actually, can’t see there being any problems. We’re not like the Aussies, who ban any imports of wooden products. And given the relative proximity of Singapore to Australia, I know understand why!)
canes? Oh you mean these drumsticks for the band……..?
Abel: It’s the middle of the night and neither of us csn sleep and we’re starting to worry about you…C. has a better idea for the whole Customs rigamorole…call them ornamental canes. When we arrived at a house in Byron Bay last year there were huge vases of ornamental canes everywhere…so just say they are decorative….your wife likes them!!!!!
(BTW the owners of the house had also left us a dinky di cane beside the rocking chair on the verandah looking out on the beach….one of those Singaporean canes you guys talk about with such glee, but had me running for the sand dunes….
So did you actually buy the whole stock of 12 and clean the store out?! Hey, what a shame my purple one wasn’t there so I have to miss out!
Now, I wonder if my dad still has friends in the service from his near-40 years as a customs officer…. Dad, we need your help!
After getting hit with the correct color cane, at least the student has the consolation of knowing the headmaster will get his from his boss, or, if he’s on the school board of directors, from all of them (with their custom-made canes that have individualized handles reflecting their personalities) for making a mistake that made the group look bad.
Martha: said former colleagues of your father’s would presumably be being enrolled to assure safe passage for my precious cargo, rather than to arrange for an impromptu welcoming party as I stride through the green channel?!
Sclurker – LOL I’m not sure school directors would work quite like that in my world…! But oh how I love the idea of canes with custom-made handles to reflect the user’s personality: that’s absolutely fantastic.
you’re here in Singapore? wow. thats really cool.
yknow despite the rumours i know from experience that most parents dont hit their children all that often. canes are normally used for threatening and that’s enough. lol
although canes are easily available i think people here are too conservative to make use of them as much as they should. *wink wink* sigh. its such a waste. haha
have fun here Abel! 😀
To see the Singaporean parental cane in action you must see the movie “I’m not stupid too”. It was a big hit in Singapore not so long ago. It features a home caning as well as a public school one. And it a pretty funny and honest depiction of singaporean family life i think. It’s in Chinese though (which is funny cuz English is so widely spoken) but can be found subtitled at They canes aren’t used that often — but just often enough — that’s my impression from the movie.
Caro – glad they’re not actually used that often, in real life.
Saro – guess what’s next on my list of DVDs to buy, now? Thanks for the tip.
The title is actually “I not stupid too”. I should edit.
Off-topic aside: Ever seen a Korean movie called Gojitmal or “Lies”? It’s an exploration of an S&M relationship between 19 year old girl and a 3o something sculptor with I don’t know how many stark naked spankings in it. Filmed with first-time actors who are reported to have been able to enjoy the scenes. I keep expecting the spanko bloggers to mention it somewhere — but maybe the foreign stuff doesn’t get much play. It played in one art house here (NYC) and got decent reviews. It too can be found streaming on the video sharing websites — a big Japanese one in particular.
I must be in an asian flick touting mood.
I do like your blog very much,
Saro
Saro – you’re right, I can’t believe we’ve never commented on the film you mention. It’s a quite remarkable movie (albeit a bit scary too). Well worth watching, and thanks for mentioning it!
Wow, am I slow?
Very glad to know you enjoyed your trip here to my country, Singapore. =)
Like what the previous commenter, Casey said, those canes were rather rarely wielded as of late, although some traditional parents still use it (sparingly) on the younger children and not those in and above their teenage years.
I have the opportunity to witness a couple of public school canings myself when I was in secondary school here in Singapore some years back. It was hard to maintain a straight face as a spectator amidst my classmates who were cringing at the sounds and sights of the spectacle, but, with guilt to the miscreant, I relished the sight inside me. Haha.
By the way, great blog! Has rapidly became my staple online reading site!
Regards,
Ling
Hi, Ling! Thanks for the comment, and glad you like the blog