It makes me smile when people reminisce in the mainstream press about being spanked when growing up. Particularly when the memories are as detailed as this:
30 years ago, virtually all moms and dads were proficient in the fine art of corporal punishment. In response to our exceptionally obnoxious deeds — pugilism in fine dining establishments, shooting out windows with BB guns, destroying our sisters’ property — my folks promptly grabbed a belt and lashed our buttocks into the middle of next week.
Mom was dreadfully proficient and would deliver a lecture in the midst of the festivities, each word accentuated by a withering blow to the bum. The result was a highly effective, sadistic symphony with a danceable rhythm. “Don’t (whack!) you (whack!) ever (whack!) let (whack!) me (whack!) catch (whack!) you (whack!) doing (whack!) that (whack!) again (whack!). And dance we did. Involuntarily. My brother and I quickly learned not to say anything in response, or to ask a question, because every word of Mom’s retort would be buttressed (so to speak) by another resounding smack of the belt.
As much as I dislike the spanking sound effects in stories, somehow they improve an otherwise silly newspaper feature quite a lot.
I agree, it does catch your attention. All those little () () () () do slow your eyes down when skimming through.
I read the rest of the article, and enjoyed the diagnosis of Discipline Deficit Disorder. Very true! Made me think of the TV program Nanny 911 where a British nanny goes into an American home and tames the wild children within by means of hugs and listening.