A few months ago I quoted from schoolday reminiscences of a girl called Naomi, who had been scared into behaving by threats of an “electric paddle”.
It appears, she was not alone. In a different school, a different kid fell victim to the same rumour:
I had two personal theories of how it worked:
1) The paddle itself was electrified, and every time it was brought down, it delivered not only a painful swat, but it also discharged a high voltage shock, thus doubling the the amount of pain it could deliver with each swing.
2) The paddle end was attached to some sort of swinging servo-mechanism, so that when held in front of the fanny of an ill-mannered child, all one had to do was press a button to have it deliver a high-speed barrage of paddles that could probbaly be measured in a formidable amount of paddles-per-second. A kid would not even have time to scream as the room filled with the sound of whirling servos and the SMACK SMACK SMACK of paddle on butt. The principal, of course, would simply be standing there smirking at how little of an effort it was costing him.
Luckily I was a good kid and never actually saw the electric paddle. In fact, I do not think I even recall any kids who had saw it first had either. However, I had no doubt the dreadful thing existed. I wonder if it is still around somewhere, rusting and collecting dust in some old file cabinet after it was retired to make way for a less violent school existence.
Perhaps one day a need for it will come again, and some fearful principal, his school being overrun by insolent brats, will take a deep shot of whiskey to calm his nerves as he unlocks the cabinet and pulls it out, whispering to himself, “So, it has come to this. I have prayed I would never have to use it. God have mercy on our souls.”
I love how the school rumours work. Clearly, a paddle in itself is frightening enough – but no, somebody’s imagination had to enhance it with even more terrifying qualities. “Oh, a paddle is scary alright, but guess what, it’s also electric.”
It’ll be a motorised cane next.
My dom at home makes things… dreadful, high quality… things. Let’s never allow him to read the words “motorised cane” ever. OK?
There was a cartoon called “Stick’n Around” that played in Canada. Ther good-girl character gets called to the principal’s office and starts hearing all the rumours about what goes on there. This is the one she truly dreads. It stuck with me.
Awww, I really feel for her! I want to watch the cartoon now, though…
It was probably some clever teacher that started the rumour to scare the kids inot behaving! A quiet word in some unruly child’s ear about what would happen ‘next time’… teachers can be very creative!
I had an electrified tennis racket once, that was supposed to combine all the fun of lawn sports with the fun of bug zapping. I used it once on a bug and it seemed horrendously cruel.
But I think it work work as an electric paddle!