I’m one of those people who always arrive early everywhere I go – allowing plenty of contingency on top of my already over-estimated travel time.

Thus it was that I found myself in a well-known burger chain the other morning, the first customer of the day a few moments after they’d opened. I’d allowed two hours for a 55 minute trip. Quite reasonably, I thought. So I had a fair amount of time to kill – and a breakfast muffin just had to be done.

The supervisor was lovely, friendly – and totally disorganised. She closed the till without giving me change; gave me the wrong change; poured me the wrong type of coffee; forgot that I’d ordered the *double* bacon. And all of this was done with a giggle and the biggest of smiles.

It was when she wandered outside while I was eating and lit up a cigarette that kinky thoughts came to mind. For how was she to know that the smart gentleman in the corner wasn’t a typical customer, but was here from Head Office to assess their standards following recent complaints?

I’d introduce myself when she came back in; ask her to accompany me to the manager’s office; list the shortcomings I’d notice, and put her over my knee.

McDisciplinarian? Yep, sounds like my kinda job.