We wandered into a kitchen gadget shop a few days ago, and Abel zeroed in on this item:

new-kitchen-implement

“What’s this for?” I asked.

“What do you think it’s for?” Abel answered, discreetly testing the thing against his palm.

No, no. I’m perfectly aware that any wooden board with a handle is a ready-made paddle. But what is it for originally? I assume they’re not selling it in the cookshop because it’s a spanking implement?

Anyway, we brought the paddle home and tested it with a few reasonable smacks as I bent forward with my hands on the wall. It’s quite pleasant, in that ouchie kind of way.

I still have no idea what it was originally.