My business partner – whilst having a reasonable idea that Haron and I live a somewhat unconventional lifestyle – is himself entirely vanilla. As a result, he often fires over notes that inadvertently amuse.

Take one at the weekend, in connection with a presentation on which we’ve jointly been working, in which he commented:

We need fonts which indicate -

- Humor

- Sarcasm

- Stress

- Disappointment

- Embarrassment

- Shame

Now, I have not a clue as to which part of our presentation will involve us expressing our ‘disappointment’ in members of the audience, or causing them to feel ‘embarrassment’ at their misconduct, followed later by a sense of ‘shame’. I rather look forward to finding out what he has in store.

Still, the issue of aligning the content of a document with its presentation is a topic with which I wrestle regularly in my professional life – yet it had never occurred to me to consider it in a kinky context. So, how about the following selection of typefaces for the same message in a note to a girl:

spanking fonts

I wonder which is the most – and least – appropriate font for setting a suitable tone?