It’s rare that the front page of a newspaper makes me laugh aloud, but the Newcastle Evening Chronicle on 29 August was just priceless.
“Couple is told to cool off over noisy sex romps,” it proclaimed, proceeding to explain that their “noisy sex romps are driving neighbours mad” and that they “have been slapped with a noise abatement order after complaints about their four-hour romps.”
Caroline, the lady concerned, goes on to explain:
“I must admit I do scream and make lots of noise when we’re having sex, but I can’t help it. Apparently I’m so loud people think I’m getting murdered. The police have said they have been called because they have feared for my safety. We are not using whips or anything like that.”
Shame, really: they should try it some time. (And congratulations to the couple concerned for clearly having such fun after 24 years of marriage).
PS did I just mention sex on our blog?!!!
You mentioned sex and they mentioned NOT using whips… what is the world coming to?!!!
A mention of sex. Shocking! I will have to stop reading immediately, and from now on focus my literary attentions solely on things worthy of my perusal, such as the Daily Mail.
Eliane! You mentioned the Daily Mail!
There’s nothing wrong with the Daily Mail! Jeez!
Oh dear. Sex, no whips, AND the Daily Mail, all in one post… This is terrible, absolutely terrible. I’m speechless.
(What’s wrong with the Daily Mail anyway? I mean, if I’m not going to buy something I need to at least know why
)
Who’s whipping girls with the Daily Mail whilst having sex with them???? Outrageous…
Kate – just read one copy of said journal, and you’ll realise that it’s so conservative and right-wing that it makes Margaret Thatcher look like a socialist. (Not that you’re old enough to remember Margaret Thatcher, of course).
OMG did I just mention Margaret Thatcher, whips and sex in the same comment? Hey, we’ll be attracting an entire new readership… Hello, Colonel Blenkinsop-Smythe in Tunbridge Wells!
Abel – that last sentence sounds like UTTER gibberish…
Yeah, Abel, what ARE you blathering on about? Maybe you need to go lie down?
(And stop being mean about the Daily Mail! I like it, it’s not fair!)
“Margaret Thatcher, whips and sex…”
That’s filth!
Justine Greening, whips and…..ya know the rest!
That’s mmmm.
This is disgusted from Tunbridge Wells posting here.
I did a google search on the Daily Mail and found this site which made me splutter on my cornflakes. Hang em and flog em – that’s what I say!
What’s wrong with having a daily male?